Forgotten Dagger
by S. E. Bode
Summary: Paul being waaaaayyy too nice, Jesse being threatened by demons, and Father Dom visiting in the middle of the night! There's only so much a girl can handle with a price this high.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

Chapter 1

_Paul is being nice right now. Maybe he **has** changed for the better, _I think while sitting on Paul's bed. The same bed where he kissed me; and the same bed now that he is sitting on trying to explain to me about Greek shifters. I _am_ trying to concentrate on what he's talking about, but it's not working very well. I'm thinking about Jesse. He's so perfect in every way possible.

"Suze? Are you even listening to me?"

I focus my eyes on Paul. "Yeah, sure I am, Paul."

"No your not. You're thinking about Jesse. You get that look in your eyes when you're thinking about him," Paul says this sadly, but when he says Jesse's name with such anger, it makes me shrink back from him. _Maybe he hasn't changed._

"Paul, Jesse and I are happy. Please don't ruin it. Please?" I plead with him, and I think it's a lost case until, Paul smiles down at me. His perfect smile, it's so different from Jesse's (which is also perfect) but still _just_ as nice. I smile up at him before I can stop myself.

"Yeah sure, sorry Suze, I don't know what got into me." Paul then goes on to tell me more about the Greeks and their Shifters. "Any person that reads Greek mythology can tell that there was some kind of ghosts traffic going on…" I try to tune in, but it's just not happening. I keep on thinking about the tone in Paul's voice when he said "Jesse", it freaks me out. Maybe he's up to something again.

I check my watch a while later, and I see that it's almost dinnertime. _Shit! _"Paul, I gotta—"

"—go, I know. I'll drive you home, Suze." Paul gets up and I follow him out to his Beemer.

He opens the door for me and smirks when my skirt rides up a little. I try to ignore it. His smirk I mean, not my skirt. I pull that down as far as it will go. We're off down the road, and the wind is blowing my loose hair back. It feels great, ridding in his car with Paul. _Wait! What?_ I try to erase the thought from my memory, but it sticks.

_I don't have to imagine a live boyfriend any more; I have Jesse. So why am I still thinking about Paul in that way?_

I am still freaking out about this, when Paul pulls up into my driveway, just as I hear Mom yelling for everyone to come to dinner. I thank whoever's up there and get the hell out of the car. I yell a good-bye to Paul, who smiles at me and says he'll see me tomorrow at school.

Running up to the house, in my black Gucci boots no less, I trip and fall flat on my face. "Oh my God," I say quietly, and get up, checking that I'm still in one piece, then I check the driveway, and see that Paul's Beemer is gone. Thank the, well, whatever.

I dust myself off, and _walk_ up the stairs.

"I'm home!" I yell as I'm walking through the front door.

"Hey, Suzie!" My mom yells from the kitchen. I know it's her, because she's the only one I allow to call me Suzie.

"Mom! I'm kinda dirty. I'll only be a minute in my room, okay?"

"Sure, Sweetie, just hurry, because you know how Andy is," she yells back at me, and I make my way up to my room.

When I open the door, I say "Hello," before I can catch myself. I look around dismally at my room. He's not here. I should know better, I know, but I can't break the habit of thinking that I'll see his glow when I come into my room. Not just yet anyways.

I go into the bathroom, and change into some jeans and a shirt that I got from CeeCee on Christmas. It says in big caps on the front, I SEE DEAD PEOPLE. It was supposed to be a joke, and then I told her the whole "story". And all she said was "Wow."

I check my hair in the mirror. You know just because I dine with animals doesn't mean I have to look like one too. I am fixing a bump when I see something, or I should say someone, shimmer behind me. I spin around ready to say, "What the heck do you want?", when all breathe leaves my body.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chapter 2 

"Father Dominic?" I stutter while dropping the hairbrush to the floor.

"Susannah," Father D says. Well, I should say his ghost says.

"Oh My God! What happened?" I scream.

"Susannah, you must remain calm." Father D. says to me while putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Calm? CALM! How can I when you're dead?" I shout at him and then feel the tears hit my cheeks. **Crap**…I hate crying.

"Susannah, please, you must understand. I am dead, yes, but I am not gone. I need your help. Something has happened to me—"

"Well duh!" I yell at him and then close my mouth. "Sorry, it's just…"

"A surprise?" Father Dom offers.

"Yeah, I mean I never thought you would leave me. I always thought you would be here for me. I can't believe that you're just gone…like that."

"I am not gone, Susannah. I am here, aren't I? Something has happened, Susannah, and I need your help. I will wait for you at the Mission. Meet me a midnight." I am about to protest about having school tomorrow, and that he should know better…but I know ghosts. And anyways, he shimmers, and _poof_, he's gone.

_Jesus, I need help_. I sit on my bed for minute…but I hurry up downstairs, 'cause Mom will kill me if I am late to dinner. "What the hell could have happened to Father Dom?" I ask my room before I go, but since nobody answers I fly down the steps.

I wipe my eyes before I enter the dinning room. Andy (I gotta remember to start calling him Dad), Mom, Sleep (Jake), Dopey (Brad), and my favorite, Doc (David) all look at me when I sit down in my seat.

"Sorry for taking so long." I say while placing my napkin in my lap.

"Did poor Suze have an episode?" Dopey asks me while smirking across the table. I try to ignore the fact that I just did have an episode.

"Oh my Gosh! You actually know a big word! If you can spell it, I'll give you five bucks!" I break out.

"E-p," Dopey begins, but then stops, and David, Jake and I laugh.

"Brad, Suzie," my mom says in her reporter voice. "Please, let's just eat.

"Fine," I say while putting a small portion of food on my plate. I don't intend to eat it, but it does look pretty darn tasty. It's shrimp and veggie kabobs. After serving myself, and my mom has something on her plate, Andy gives a nod to the boys, and they clean off the serving plates in the middle of the table. If boys are only good for one thing, it's the disposal of food. They can fit like five spoonfuls of cereal in their mouths, or six shrimp in their mouth, like Dopey is doing now, with his mouth open I might add.

"Brad!" Andy yells, after swallowing his own mouthful. "Take it easy son."

Brad swallows, and then says something while shoving another three shrimp in his mouth. "I had a hard practice today, Dad! I'm hungry." However, it comes out sounding more like this, "I ad a 'ard prac'ious 'oday, Ad! 'M ungie." He sounded like a child, but it's not much different from what he usually sound like.

I eat slowly (yeah, okay I was hungry). I still can't stop thinking about Father Dom… I can't believe he's left me. I guess it shows on my face too, because Andy asks me what's wrong.

"Nothing, I just fee like there is something wrong down at the Mission." Everybody quiets down; they all look at me with pitying eyes. I begin to fume.

"Sweetie," my mom starts. _SHE KNOWS!_ "Suzie," she begins again. "Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but—"

"Honey," Andy says to my mom, and I would have gagged if I wasn't so worried about Father Dom. "Suze, what your mother is trying to say is that…Well, something has happened to Father Dominic."

"He's dead!" Brad yells and smiles over at me, expecting me to like cry or something. Thank God I already know this, because I would hate to give him that satisfaction.

"BRAD!" Andy shouts at Dopey and wallops him on the crown of his head.

"Owww," Dopey complains while dropping his kabob on the table and clutching his head. "Whatcha do that for?"

"YOU ARE GROUNDED! FOR A MONTH!" Andy bellows at Dopey, while he turns bright pink. "GO TO YOUR ROOM! NOW!"

Brad leaps up, bounds out of the room, and if he had a tail, it would have been tucked between his legs.

"Oh, Suzie, I'm so sorry," Mom says while putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Can I be excused," I say loving the opportunity to leave the table.

"Yes, of course," Andy says even though I was clearly asking my mom. "I'll save you a couple of kabobs."

"Thank you, An-Dad."

"No problem kiddo," he says with a smile.

I get up to leave the table, and Doc asks if he can leave to. Andy says sure. I leave the dinning room and walk up the stairs to my room. Doc follows me all the way up.

"Suze?" Doc asks, when I'm halfway through my doorway.

"Yeah, Do-David?"

"Are you going to be okay?" David asks me with a concerned look on his face. He is the cutest of my _step_brothers. I mean like adorable cute, not hot cute, 'cause that would just be **_ew_**.

"I'll be fine, I just need to be alone for a while," I say subtly trying to hint that I want him to leave me alone, right now.

"Oh, well, I just have a question…"

"Yeah, David?" I ask him while drumming my fingers on the edge of the doorframe.

"Have you seen Father Dominic's, well, um, ghost?" Doc whispers that "ghost" part, with a sheepish look on his face.

"Yes, I did," I say nonchalantly.

"Oh, gosh, that must have been why you didn't look all that shocked or anything when Brad yelled that Father D was dead, huh?"

"Yeah," I say willing him to leave me alone. Usually I like talking to Doc, since he is like a prodigy, but not when I have stuff to do, like homework and catch a catnap.

"Okay, well, I guess, I'll just leave you alone." Doc turns to walk down the hall to his bedroom.

"Oh, hey, David," I say to him and he turns around. "Do you know what happened to him?"

"Yeah, he died in his sleep, from old age, they are pretty sure it was peaceful thought."

"He wasn't that old, David." Sleepy says while sauntering up to me.

David blushes, and then gives me a small smile, and then walks briskly down to his room. Sleepy looks over at me, "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I say and then shut the door on him. I know I shouldn't have, but I felt like being mean…why does everyone think I am this fragile little china doll?

When I am safely in my room, I begin working on my homework. (Pre Calc equals yuck.) After a couple of minutes, Andy yells up that the phone is for me. Already knowing who it is, I bound over and I feel my breath catch while I put the receiver to my ear.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chapter 3 

"Hi," I breathe into the phone.

"Suze, is that you? What's wrong with your voice?" Whoops, it's CeeCee.

"Nothing, I thought you were somebody else," I say quickly.

"Jesse?"

"Yeah."

"So I take it you heard about Father Dom, huh?" CeeCee asks me.

"Yeah, I did. Do you know how he died, Ceece?"

"No, I don't think so, but he was like a healthy old guy, so I doubt it was just by old age. I personally think someone was out to get him."

"CeeCee, who would be out to get a priest?" I ask her, dismissing the whole idea stat.

"Suze! I thought you were smarter than this! A _ghost_ would be out to get Father D. I mean come on! Maybe it was like a jealous ex-girlfriend, or something."

CeeCee knows that I am a mediator, well, shifter, but I kinda forgot about the Father Dom thing. I figured too much at one time would overwhelm her. "Ceece, I'm pretty sure, Father Dom didn't have any jealous ex-girlfriends. I mean he is-was a priest for goodness sakes!"

"Oh well, that doesn't matter. I want you to write a tribute to him for the newspaper. Can you do it? I just thought that you would want to since you were so close an all."

"Yeah, sure I'll do it." My call waiting beeps, and I feel my heart begin to race. "Cee, I gotta go, call waiting."

"Sure, no prob. Bye!"

"Bye," I say and then click over.

"Hello?" I ask the phone.

"So you heard about Father Dom?" It's Paul, _damn_.

"Yes," I say shortly, wondering how he can be so easy about it.

"Well, it a tragedy, but now you don't have to be so soft anymore about mediating and shifting."

I can hear him smiling into the phone. "Shut up Paul. Why do you have to be so mean? Father Dominic was a great mediator! He had a soul and a heart, something you never had!" I yell at him, furiously anger at him for treating Father Dom's existence like it was nothing. It was _everything_.

"Suze, I do have a heart. Remember, you stole it and then broke it."

This leaves me speechless. Paul has a good habit of doing that to me.

"Good night, Suze." Paul says in that silky voice of his and then hangs up the phone.

I put the phone back in it's cradle, and am about to turn around, when it rings again. I pick it up, expecting Paul's smooth, sexy voice to come out, so I say something first.

"What do you want from me?"

"_Querida_?" _Oh thank God! It's **Jesse**!_

"Jesse, I am so happy to hear your voice!"

"What's wrong, Susannah? This is not just about Father Dominic."

"You knew? You knew and you didn't call me?" I ask him infuriated that he wouldn't call me the second he found out.

"Yes, I know, _querida_. I just got done watching the news." Jesse says with a sigh, as if I should have known this.

"Oh."

"So, what else is bothering you? Is it Slater, Susannah?"

I am silent for a minute. Jesse asks me again, "Suze? Is everything alright?"

I am silent for a second longer, but then everything just comes pouring out. "Everything is wrong, Jesse!" I yell at him, "I just found out that the Yoda to my Luke Skywalker is dead, from his _ghost_ no less! Paul is _freaking_ me out, even more than usual! CeeCee is _so_ oblivious; Brad is a _moron_, and I haven't seen you in _for-ever_! And I have to meet Father Dom at the Mission tonight at midnight."

"Father Dom's came to you as a ghost?" Jesse asks, obviously missing all the other stuff I just said.

"Yes," I say quietly, because I can't be mad at him. I _love_ him too much.

"I'm coming over to take you over to the Mission. Okay, _querida_? You are not to leave your house without me. Okay, Susannah?"

I swear he treats me like such a child sometimes.

"Jesse, I'm not a little girl anymore. I can take care of myself."

"Susannah, do not act like you are invincible. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. No, I will take care of you…that is final. I do not want you walking the streets alone when someone is out there just waiting for some young women to take his _pleasures_ out on." In other words, he doesn't want some guy _raping_ me. I should have known. I mean Jesse and I haven't even gotten pass _second_ base, and I am like dying with anticipation!

"But Jesse!" I start to say, but he cuts me off.

"No buts, _querida_, I am taking you to the Mission." And then Jesse hangs up on me!

I throw the phone into its cradle with a flick of my wrist and pace my room fuming.

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My alarm wakes me up at eleven thirty. I get up silently and put on a skirt, in spite of myself. I dress up, I don't know why. Okay, so that's a lie, I know why. I am dressing up because I am seeing him tonight. Jesse. I'm seeing Jesse tonight, okay? That's why I am dressing up. I don't know why I care what he thinks; okay, so I do know why…it's because I am in love with him.

Are you happy? I'm in love with Jesse.

I smile at my reflection while I check myself out in the mirror. There's a knock on my window, and I turn around slowly, so Jesse can see what he's been missing. My heart rate speeds up when his eyes lock with mine. However, it doesn't stay that way for long, his eyes meander their way down to my skirt, and I can see a smile pulling at his lips. I decide to swing my hips for dramatic effect.

"Let's go," he says while taking my hand in his own big, strong one.

"Well, hi to you too," I say sarcastically, but sarcasm is wasted on Jesse.

Jesse pulls me out the window, and onto the roof. He then "tuts" at my skirt, as I try to shimmy down the tree. I make it. Hey, I've been doing this for a while.

When I get down to the bottom, I wait for Jesse to climb down the tree. I watch him, well, his butt. I can't help it; it's so cute. I blush when his feet touch the ground and he looks at me.

He takes my hand in his, and kisses the palm of it. "Oh, _querida_. You must be grieving."

I look into Jesse's warm, brown eyes, and suddenly realize just how much I miss Father Dominic. I begin to cry, "Oh Jesse." I throw myself into his arms, and he hugs me tight. I know I can come apart in Jesse's arms, because he's there to protect me.

I sob, and Jesse's warm body feels good against the cold night. Jesse mumbles things in Spanish to me, which I really wish I understood, but no, I had to take French, instead of Spanish! Jesse holds me, and I want him to hold me like this forever. He kisses the crown of my head. As I pull away, the cold air rushes in, and I shiver.

My eyes are blurry from the crying. Did I mention I hate crying? I look up at Jesse, but all I see is a blurred outline of his face. A face I know so well. Then, his lips are on mine. I gasp, like every time Jesse kisses me. His hands grip my face, his body is pressed up against mine, and suddenly I am really happy I wore a skirt. It's doing its job.

I run my hands through Jesse's silky black hair, and I sigh with the satisfaction. Jesse pulls back. "We should get going," he says to me while pulling me towards his car, which is parked on the curb in front of my house.

"Slow down, Jesse," I whisper to him while he pulls me along. He slows down a little bit, and when we reach his car, Jesse opens the door for me. I get in, and this time I don't look down to see if my skirt has ridden up. In fact I want it too, because then Jesse will see what's he's been missing.

Jesse drives in silence. He's actually a really good drive, better than me. I really don't want to talk; I just want to get the Mission so I can find out what happened to Father D. I _need_ to know!

Jesse parks the car underneath some trees, and we walk stealthily to the open archways of the church. I know exactly where I'm going, and apparently so does Jesse. I walk close to him, because the church's open-air archways are pretty scary at night, even with their floodlights on.

Jesse pulls open the heavy door to the church's sanctuary, and I slip inside. I look around, and I hear the thump of Jesse closing the door behind him. I don't see Father Dom's glow anywhere, so I call out quietly.

"Father Dominic?" I yell in a stage whisper. "Are you here?"

Nothing happens. I glance back at Jesse, but he gives me a blank stare. _Men._

"Father D! Where are you?" I say a little louder so he can hear me this time…_obviously not._

Then Jesse says something, but I don't catch what it is, because his voice is muffled. I turn around in the middle of saying, "What Jesse?"

But I stop in the middle of "Jesse", because a ghost is standing behind him, with a hand over his mouth, and a weird looking knife to his neck.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 4

I can't find the air to scream. It's a ghost I don't recognize, but I already know I don't like him. He is pretty hot though, in an English gentlemanly sort of way. He has this air about him, you know like one of those blood-sucking lawyers. I try not to make eye contact, in case he decides to steal my soul.

I take a step forward, but he clutches Jesse tighter, and puts the knife closer to his neck.

"Don't," I say before I can stop myself.

"Why not?" The ghost asks.

"Why would you? It's not like he has done anything personal to you, has he?" I ask suddenly enraged. _Nobody_ beats up my boyfriend!

"I only do as I am told," the ghost replies, and a small smirk appears on his face. I almost gag.

"Who told you to do this?" I ask him, taking another step forward.

"One of my master's good friends."

"And who might that be?" I ask him, while looking at him more clearly. He is glowing, but not in a ghostly way. His glow is more reddish, than bluish-whitish. I finally look into his eyes, and I gasp when I see what color they are.

He's a demon! I remember Paul telling me something about Christian demons and angels. Angles have white pupils while demons have red. They also glow differently.

The demons eyes glow. They smile. I look at Jesse—who looks really freaked out. I try to comfort him with an intense stare, but this just makes him squirm.

"Jesse! Don't! He's got a knife!" I yell to him and watch as his eyes widen in fear—_or was it anger?_

"So you _are_ afraid," the demon says as more of a comment then a question.

"Yeah, I am. But I'm still gonna kick your butt!" I prepare to attack him when the demon tuts at me.

"Oh no, Susannah. You cannot touch me. You may be able to see me, but you cannot touch me. I am invincible, while you are just _human_," the demon chuckles.

"Don't! Call! Me! Susannah!" I launch myself at the demon. At the same time Jesse wiggles free of the demon's grasp and catches me before I can get my hands around the demon's neck.

"No Susannah!" Jesse yells at me while pulling me away from the demon. I give the demon a dead on stare, hoping that it intimidates him. He is totally cute, but I can tell he's dangerous just from those eyes. Then in a sudden, he bursts into flames. I jump in Jesse's arms.

The smoke rises from where the demon was just standing, and it spells out "Seirios". I wonder if that's his name. And then I remember Jesse's body enveloping mine, and I burry my head in his arms.

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Jesse clutches me tight while I sob into his arms. I don't know what has come over me; I guess its just all the things put together are overwhelming me.

"Susannah?"

I turn around in Jesse's arms, and see Father D's ghost looking at me.

"Oh, Father D!" I yell, and run over to him. He envelops me in a hug, and tries to soothe me.

"Susannah, I need to tell you a great deal tonight," Father says while him and Jesse help me to a pew. I am still sobbing (I hate crying), as Father D. begins. "Now, as you know I am dead, but I am still here, and I need your help in letting my spirit go to Heaven."

I look at him deadpan, and then I look over at Jesse, who is clutching my hand, which is trembling.

"What happened to you?" I ask Father D.

"Well, I was in my sleep, when I awake at three in the morning to a strange presence in my room. And I speak out loud—I begin to fear that something I cannot see is in the room. I can sense that was a danger to me, and I was right. After I say, "Hello." I feel something pressed up against my throat, and I cry out for help, but all that comes out is a gurgle, and the next second I know, I'm dead looking over my limp body."

I didn't like hearing all of these descriptive words, but I stomached it for Father D.

"I knew I had to come to you, because you would know how to help me. Oh Susannah, I don't know what to do." I look at Father Dominic's face, and he looks really scared, and for a second I want to tell him that everything is okay, but then I bite it back, because it will only provoke him to tell me not to lie. I glance over at Jesse, who is still clutching my hand.

"Father D?" I ask him, and he looks up at me. "I need to see your body, before I say anything else. I am also going to be writing a memorial for the school newspaper about you. I thought you should know. And now I gotta get to bed, but I will call you when I figure out something to do. In the meantime, I think you should look around, and see if you can find any significances for why this would happen to you. Think of the W's: what, who, where, when, why. Okay?" I end my speech in a smile, and grasp one of Father D's hands, it's cold to the touch, and I shiver without meaning too.

"Father D," I begin, "Everything is going to be all right. I am going to help you get through this, I promise."

"Me too," Jesse says, not to my surprise. I smile back at him, and he winks at me, and then smiles warmly at Father Dominic.

We say our good byes, but Father D. asks to talk to Jesse alone. I wait by the front door for Jesse, since I don't want to be by myself in the dark. I strain my ears to hear their conversation, but all I hear is murmuring.

Finally, after what seems like an hour, Jesse comes walking up to me, and I see Father D. materialize in front of the alter.

"What was that about, Jesse?" I ask him, while he holds the door open for me.

"Nothing, _querida_. Let me get you home now, you must be exhausted." Jesse pulls me in close to him since there is a breeze; I shiver, seeing as I am wearing a skirt and all.

We walk to his car, and again, he opens the door for me. I slide in, and I think about what Father Dominic looked like tonight. He looked healthy. Just like I remember him. Still wearing his priest thingy and all. When Jesse gets into the car, it jostles around, and I find my thoughts wandering.

We pull up to my house, and Jesse turns off his car. I look over at him.

"Are you going to be okay?" He asks me, with a concerned look on his face.

"I'll be fine." I say and lean over to give him a kiss goodnight. However, he leans away from me. Puzzled, I ask, "What?"

"I don't think we should do this right now." Is all Jesse says and refuses to look at me. I huff, and get out of the car. I slam it just to let Jesse know how upset I am, and then a gust of wind blows by me, and I really regret of having worn a skirt.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 5

I wake up at six in the morning and begin my morning ritual to get ready for school.

"God, this blows," I say aloud while messing up on my eyeliner for the third time. "Third time is _so_ not a charm!" I yell at the mirror and throw my eyeliner down on the counter, silently cursing at it.

I finally decide to throw on some grungy jeans with holes in them and my black, leather jacket over a white satin tank top. I slam my feet into some Jimmy Choo three-inch boots, and I sling my backpack over my shoulder.

"We are going to be late!" Dopey says while I am walking down the stairs.

"I'm right here, Dop-, I mean, Brad." I say biting back the urge to just say it to his face.

"What are you a hobo today, Suze?" Dopey says from the driver's seat of the car. He sneers at me, and I shoot him a look of my own.

"Are you gonna be stupid _again _today, Brad, or is today going to be a rare exception?"

That shuts him up, and I get into the front seat. I smile back at David in the back seat, but he's engrossed in a new book that Andy got for him when they went to the bookstore last night after dinner.

"So, how's the book, going?" I ask Doc, as Dopey backs out of the driveway.

Doc doesn't even look up from it, but answers politely, "Good, I'm really learning a lot!"

Dopey snorts, and I glare over at him.

"What?" Dopey asks when he sees me glaring at him.

"Why are you so mean to David? I mean, one would think that since he's so smart and all, that you your would be down on your knees praying to him."

Dopey snorts again.

"Actually Brad, Suze is right, in the ancient civilizations—" David is cut off—well, we are all cut off (with Dopey cursing very loud), by a black Beemer, which I only recognize too well. Paul.

When we pulled up into the school, and had gotten out of the car, I see Paul lurking around the main entrance, obviously waiting for Kelly. I decide to pass him as quickly as I can.

"Hello Suze," Paul greets to me when I pass him, and he begins walking right along side me. "Have an interesting night, didn't we?"

I stare at him, amazed, "How did you know?"

"I have my secrets," Paul says, and I frown at him. Something I seem to be doing a lot. "Why do you look so sad, Suze?" Paul asks, his tone of voice changing completely. It stuns me so badly, that I stop dead and look up into his eyes.

I don't say anything for the minute or so that we stare at each other. Paul then puts an arm around me, and walks me to my locker. "Is everything alright with Jesse, Suze? You know you can tell me anything. That's what friends are for, you know?"

For a moment I almost decide to tell him everything. Just spill it all, but then CeeCee comes up behind us, removes Paul's arm from my shoulders, and says, "Paul, don't make me kick your ass."

Paul raises his eyebrows at me, and then looks down at CeeCee. She stares at him dead on, and then Paul glances back at me. "I'll talk to you at lunch, right Suze?"

"Um, sure," I say and then thankfully, Paul leaves before CeeCee has an aneurysm.

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"What were you thinking?" CeeCee yells at me while walking to out first period class, Pre Calculus (just what I love to start off my mornings with…not).

"He's okay now, you know Ceece. People can change."

"Oh no you don't!" She says when I try to escape her by going into the classroom three minutes early. "You aren't having feelings for Paul are you Suze?"

I am stunned, "OF COURSE NOT!" I bellow, and some freshmen look at us like we're crazy.

"Okay, well, I have to make sure you know."

"Make sure of what?" Adam asks us while coming up and putting his arm around CeeCee's shoulders. Her face switched to the angry scrunched up one to a calm, relaxed, loving one.

"That Suze isn't harboring feelings for Slater."

"Oh, yeah, I would have to agree with Cee on that, I mean it would be like bad karma or something to go for Paul, when you and Jesse worked so hard to be together."

I lock eyes with CeeCee, "He doesn't know the half of it," she lips to me, and I want to burst out laughing.

But instead, I say to Adam, "You're right, that would be bad karma, and I fully intend on not falling for Paul. I mean after all, I might not live if I do, because of Kelly and everything." They both laugh, and we head into class just as the bell rings.

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Right after third period, I see Paul and Kelly in the hallway on my way to lunch. Kelly is trying to get close to Paul, but he won't let her. I wonder what's going on, when I feel somebody's hand on my shoulder. I turn around and see Jesse.

"Hello," Jesse says, and smiles at me. "Do you think we could go somewhere secluded?"

My heart leaps, and suddenly I get really hot in my jacket, but if Sister Ernestine saw me without my jacket on I think I might just give her a heart attack. I decide to remove it once we are alone. "Um, why don't we go to the graveyard?" Jesse nods his head, and takes my hand.

When he starts off in the direction that Paul and Kelly are in, he just keeps on going, and when we pass Paul, he gives Jesse a once over and a nod of his head, and then shoots me a quizzical look.

Jesse holds my hand the entire way to the isolated graveyard, and we decide to sit on the bench in the middle of the maze of tombs. When he sits close to me, I gain confidence, and decide to take off my jacket. I place it in my lap, and look up at Jesse.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" I ask him politely.

"I just," Jesse's eyes glance downward, and I repress a smile. "I just, w-wanted to know if-if you were okay, _querida_."

"Well, I have been thinking about it constantly today." That isn't so much of a lie, when I had arrived at the Mission it had felt empty, but I had been so puzzled with Paul (what else is new?) to actually give it a second thought. But now that Jesse is asking me straightforward, I kind of want to cry about the loss of Father Dominic.

Jesse looks down at my shirt again. "You should—"

I cut in, already knowing what Jesse's going to say. "I know I shouldn't wear this shirt, but I am keeping my jacket on all day in school, Jesse."

"Actually," Jesse says while leaning forward, "I was thinking you should wear this top more often."

I blush and then breathe in the essence, which is Jesse. His lips are almost touching mine, when out of the corner of my eye I see Paul. Backing away from Jesse, I look over at Paul.

"Yeah?" I ask him with my eyes shooting daggers.

"Sister Ernestine asked me to come find you. She said the matter was an important one." Paul walks up to me, while saying this and takes my hand. "Let's go."

"Wait, can Jesse come too?" I ask desperately.

"No, it's alright, Susannah, I'll just see you at dinner. You're step-father invited me over." Jesse doesn't look at me, but stares at Paul, who is now leading me quickly away from my almost kismet.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 6

"Paul! What the _hell_ was that?" I ask furiously stuffing my arms into my jacket and trying to keep up with Paul's fast pace. "What could Sister Ernestine want from me?"

"She needs to talk to you about Father Dominic, of course," he says while shooting a smile down my way. I can't resist softening up a little. I relax my shoulders. We walk down towards the Mission and away from Jesse. "But," Paul says when we are out of sight of Jesse and the graveyard, "I do have to talk to you first."

Paul takes a hold of my upper arm, and pulls me into a broom closet. We are really close and I can smell his expensive colon made to make him smell like a man. _Jesse, doesn't need that stuff to smell like a man_, I can't help but think. Paul's hand finds it's way into my shoulder. There is such little light, that I can barely make out the outline of his face. But I know his face by heart, because well, it's a good-looking face.

"Suze, I have to ask you something." Paul says while leaning away from me a little bit. I guess it was to make it more "friendly" between us, but this just makes me loose all perspective of the room.

"Ask away Paul; ask away." I try and shift my feet in my Jimmy Choo boots, but I misstep and end up falling against Paul's chest. Something that I know for a fact looks really good naked.

"Is there anything wrong with you and Jesse, because if you need a guy's opinion; I will give you an honest one. You can talk to me about anything. You know that, right, Suze?"

I can just see the puppy-dog look in his eyes, and I want to say yes. But that fact is, I don't know if I completely trust Paul right now. I mean, eventually, I'll forgive him, but right now, there's just something about how he and Jesse pull away from each other to really make me think that Paul has the best intentions in his heart, even if he himself doesn't realize it.

I decide to just nod my head and say sure. Paul lets out a sigh and smiles down at me when we come out of the closet. I glance down the hallway, to make sure that no one will see us coming out, and then I proceed onto Sister Ernestine's office, to talk to her. Paul follows.

"Suze, I was wondering when you would finally show up. Could you not find her Paul?" Sister Ernestine says while I take a seat in her office.

"No," says Paul still standing with his back against the wall. "We just got held up."

Sister nods her head, and then sets me with a cold look. She has always had it in for me. I try my best to give her my best sincere smile.

"Suze, I have been wondering," Sister says while taking her throne, I mean, seat. "How have you been handling our dear Father Dominic's death? It was sudden, yes, and I know how close you two were. I want you to know that Paul is my best pupil, and you can come to me or him or any of the other Sisters if you ever need to talk about anything. Anything at all."

I am in shock when these kind words bubble out of Sister's mouth. I don't even think I blink.

Sister turns to Paul, "Is she alright, dear?"

"She's fine. It's just been rough having to come back here without Father D. around. But we can still feel his spirit." Paul comes over to me, and puts an arm around my shoulder. "Come on, Suze, I'll walk you back to class."

Sister looks at Paul with pure admiration, and I want to puke. _She is just trying to fill her "good Samaritan" quota for the day_, I think viciously. When Paul guides me out of her office, I yank away from his grip when I see Father Dominic's ghost right in front of us. I rush up to him and give him a good hug.

"Hello Susannah. Paul." Father D. says while hugging me back, and then letting me go quickly. He was never really one for physical show of emotions.

"What's going on, Father Dom?" Paul asks quite rudely. And I want to smack him, which I do.

Paul stumbles for a moment, but regains his composure, while I get an ear-full from Father. "Susannah, there is no reason for behavior like that!" Blah, Blah, Blah.

Paul looks at me, and I know that he knows that I was right to hit him, and that if he ever takes that tone of voice again with Father he'll get more than a slap.

"I'm sorry Paul," I say while giving a side glance at Father Dom. I know he doesn't want me to be mean to Paul, especially when he's the only other one of "our kind" I know. I mean sure, Jesse can see ghosts and whatnot, but he isn't a shifter, as Paul insists we call ourselves.

"No problem," Paul says and then turns to Father Dom. "Well good seeing you Father D. but I got to go. Suze, I'll call you later, okay?" And then Paul walks away without a glance back.

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"So, Father D. I don't mean to be rude, but is there anything you need?" I ask.

"Actually no, but I was wondering what Sister wanted with you."

"Well, she just wanted to know if I was okay. Wait? Why didn't you just come on in and listen for yourself?"

"Oh Susannah, I'm really not cut out for this ghost stuff. I still use doors," Father sits down on the ledge.

"I thought you couldn't touch things."

"Well no, I walk through doors. But in thought that is still using them." Father's face look really sad, and I want to give him a hug, but then the bell rings, and I look around as students pour into the hallways coming back from lunch.

"I guess you better go, Susannah, I don't want you to be late for class. I will talk to you later." Father Dom stands up and smiles fatherly down at me.

"You know where to find me," I say and smile up at him. Then I walk off down the hallway and into Medical Science. CeeCee glances up at me while I take my seat. She puts her magazine down, and asks, "So where were you?"

"Ceece," I say, but then this guy walks into class, and everyone stops talking. We all stare, even Paul, who is sitting in the back of the room with Kelly, who can't keep her hands off of him.

"Hello," the guy says and smiles at the class. It's a nice smile if I say so myself. "I'm Marc Baumann. I'm your new Medical Sciences teacher. I am a MD, and I went to school in Britain, where I grew up. You guys can call me Marc if you want to. Being called Mr. Baumann just makes me feel old." There's a collective laugh.

Now that I think about it, I can hear the British accent, which is almost as sexy as Jesse's Spanish one. Reluctantly (well maybe) I slip into a daydream.

CeeCee nudges me; she has turned bright pink. I snap out of my little hallucination, and see that Marc, I mean Mr. Baumann, no Marc, is staring right at me.

"Let's go through the role, shall we?" Marc calls out names, in no particular order. "Paul? CeeCee? Kelly? Amanda?" And so forth… I am the last person he calls on. "Susannah?"

"Actually," I begin, while looking at his gorgeous eyes, "I prefer Suze, if you don't mind."

"Not at all," Marc says, almost flirtatious, I dare to say. He smiles down at the piece of paper, while making a note.

"So," he says while glancing around the classroom, "what was the last thing you covered?"

Amanda, the brain of the class, raises her hand. She is the Hermione of the school. "We just got done with the heart, and we were going to move onto the nervous system next."

Marc looks pleased at this, "Okay, well I guess you all can get out your books and read the chapter; we'll begin notes tomorrow."

With a groan, the class gets out our books, and we begin reading. I am half way through the long chapter, when Marc stops in front of my desk.

I look up at him. "Can I see you after class, Suze?" He asks, and the class 'ooh's'.

"Um, yes," I whisper. I just stare at my book again, but don't read anymore for the rest of the class period.

At the bell, I pack up my things slowly. Marc is sitting behind his new desk, and I walk up to him when I'm done packing.

"You wanted to see me?" I ask.

"Yes, Suze," Marc says, his British accent coming out in full bloom, and it makes me go weak in the knees. "I know that you have suffered a great loss with the Father Dominic situation, but I want you to know that I was good friends with Father Dominic, and he has told me a lot about you. And well, if you need any help with anything, just let me know, and I will do anything I can to help."

I am shocked at this announcement, but I should have known better. Father Dom had lots of friends, he would have told good friends about me. Now about my powers on the other hand, I'm not so sure about. I nod my head, and turn to leave. And when I'm at the door, Marc says, "Oh, and Suze, if you see Father Dominic around, would you mind sending him my way, I have a couple of papers I would like him to look over for me."

I look back aghast, but I can't say anything, because I have to go.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 7

Walking out into the hall, dazed, I bump into Paul while walking to the car.

"Hey, what did Marc want?" He asks.

"Oh, nothing." I say automatically.

"Are you sure? Because you looked kind of freaked out." Paul pulls me into a corner where no one can see us. "Remember Suze, you can tell me anything. I'm your friend." I look up at Paul, and I take him seriously.

"How 'bout you drive me home, and we can talk about it?" I say while taking a step back.

"Okay," Paul says and then we resume walking out towards the parking lot. I find Dopey, who is making out with Debby.

"Brad! I'm getting another ride home, I'll be home for dinner!" Then I haul it over to Paul's car, feeling sorry for ditching Doc.

"All set?" Paul asks while opening the door to his car for me.

"Yeah," I say as I slide in and buckle up.

"So," I begin when we are driving over to the Coffee Clutch, "what does Kelly say about us hanging out so much?"

"I don't really care what she says, she's not my type at all, and she's gotten extremely bossy and needy lately." Paul shudders and I laugh while he pulls into a parking space.

"You wanna just get some to go, and then we can drive off and have some privacy?" Paul asks while opening the shop door for me.

I look at him, and think, and then say, "Sure, sounds better than people overhearing us." Paul smiles and then we order, and he pays for me, even though I do have my own money, which I flaunt in front of his face.

"I got it," is all he says, until we get out to the pull off, where I almost got molested and beaten to death by ghosts. Paul parks the car and then unbuckles his seatbelt.

I sip my coffee concoction, and Paul looks at me, while sipping his. He is waiting for me to start.

"So, Marc, our new Medical Science teacher, he held me after class, as you are well aware. And he asked me how I was taking the Father Dominic situation, and everything. He said that he and Father D. were good friends, and that I could come to him for anything. And then when I was leaving, he said, 'By the way, if you see Father Dominic around, could you send him my way, I have some papers for him to look over?'"

Paul's eyes widen just a little bit. "Isn't that weird? I mean, do you think that Marc is a mediator as well? And if he is, why didn't Father D. tell me about him? What if Marc's a shifter? Wouldn't that be cool?"

Paul looks queasy for a moment, and then he leans back in his leather-covered seat. "How did he know that you can see ghosts?"

"Well, obviously Father D. talked to him!" I say exasperatedly.

"Okay, okay, well then how do we approach this? Do we tell him about me as well, or do we just let it slide, and let him come to us?" Paul sips some more of his coffee.

"I don't know. I think Father Dominic would like us to tell Marc the truth. If Marc knows about me, he's bound to know about you."

"Yes, but what if he doesn't? What if Father Dom never got around to it?"

"Well, what if he did? Huh? Wouldn't it look fishy to Marc if we didn't come to him? If we didn't ask him all these questions, and have a group session with him, Father D., you and me?"

Paul just shakes his head. "Aren't you going to include Jesse? He can see too."

"I know, I know, but sometimes I wonder if he's actually a mediator at all, because he wasn't born with it. Not technically."

I stop and stare at my hands, which are shaking.

"Suze, are you sure, there's nothing you want to talk about?"

Finally, I just give up. I decide to take Paul up on his offer. "Paul," I say suddenly, "if you were my boyfriend, would you kiss me every time you could?"

Paul looks shocked as well as pleased, and a little bit smug. "I don't know; I haven't really gotten in a lot of practice." A smirk glides across his face, and a blush across mine. _How did I get sucked into this?_

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I can't stop blushing, Paul is just staring at me, and I can't stop blushing. A smirk is on his face, and I am blushing.

"So, why do you ask?" Paul asks while setting his coffee cup down in the cup holder.

"It's just Jesse doesn't seem to eager to kiss me lately," I say remembering last night, when he said, "I don't think we should do this right now," when I had leaned in for a kiss.

"Well, he must be crazy."

I smile at Paul, who smiles back at me. And then, before I can register it, Paul's lips are on mine. They're soft and firm. His hands pull me close to him, and I feel a part of me fight him off, and another part give in. Then I open my eyes, and see that his are closed. I give in.

I close my eyes, and let Paul kiss me all he wants. It's nice, you know, to have somebody kiss you like this. It's passionate (and a little one-sided, I might add). Paul's enthusiasm is nice and so are his kisses…but then he goes for the bottom of my shirt.

I tear myself away from him. "What the hell are you doing?"

Paul's eyes fall onto mine. "I thought it's what you wanted."

"Well, it's not. Jesse's my boyfriend, and you have a girlfriend of your own! Paul, just please take me home now." Paul's face falls, and he nods while putting on his safety belt. I put mine on, and Paul starts the engine.

He drives me home in silence, and when we pull into my driveway, I see Jesse's car in there. My heart warms. I look over at Paul, who has already thrown the car into reverse.

"Good-bye, Paul." I say and get out of the car. He scowls at me. And then drives off. A part of me feels guilty for doing that to him, but the other part of me feels guilty for cheating on Jesse.

While walking up to the house, I decide that to fix this problem is to just make out with Jesse. I take off my jacket and walk into the house.

"I'm home!" I yell, and my mother yells a greeting. Max puts his nose in my crotch as his own greeting. I push him away with the heel of my hand. "Hi, Max."

"Hello, Susannah," someone says to my right. I look over and I see Jesse. He is smiling at me, and I find it hard not to smile back.

Andy's voice booms out from the kitchen, "Dinner is in twenty minutes!"

A chorus of okays are screamed from different parts of the house. Jesse and I yell our own okays, and then I begin walking up the stairs to my room. Jesse follows like a little puppy.

"Susannah?" Jesse asks while shutting my bedroom door behind him. "Is something wrong? And why did you ride home with Paul? You know I don't trust him."

"Jesus Jesse! Just because you don't trust him, doesn't mean that he isn't a changed person! Paul and I happen to be friends! And me being with him, is of no concern to you! If you don't want me to _cheat_ on you, maybe you should _kiss_ me more often!" I stop short of yelling this at the top of my lungs, and settle for a stage whisper/yell.

Jesse just looks at me, his shoulders slouched down. I throw my book bag onto the floor, and put my jacket right next to it. "_Querida_."

I look up, and Jesse is dragging his hand through his hair. I look at him expectantly.

"Why the hell do you have to wear the shirt?"

In an instant, Jesse is kissing me. It's much better than with Paul, because there are fireworks. Jesse's hands are on my lower back, pulling me closer to him; I fling my arms around his neck, and bring his head closer to mine. We are so close, it's like we're one.

Jesse's mouth slips away from my lips, and makes a trail of kisses down around my neck. One of his hands slips under my satin top, and I feel his fingers on my lower back. I shiver, not because his hands are cold, which they aren't, but because I'm so sexually awake. Jesse's other hand slips under my shirt and rests on my hip. His lips come up to mine again.

Suddenly, I push Jesse away. He looks at me quizzically. Then something cold passes over my body and I feel hands at my throat.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 8

Where the hands are around my neck I feel burning, but the rest of my body is as cold as ice. I want to scream, but as soon as the thought comes into my head, the hands squeeze tighter. I close my eyes so I don't have to see Jesse's horrified face.

Then I hear it. That familiar voice. "Susannah," the demon "Seirios" says, while clutching me closer to him. "I want to give you some advice: try not to toy around with people's emotions. It's bad news, and if you do it again, you'll find yourself transparent. Heed my warning." Once the voice stopped, the hands let go of my neck, and I fell to the floor.

Jesse's arms wrap around me, "Susannah! What happened? What was that? I couldn't see anything, but I felt hot and cold at the same time, just like last night in the Mission. I tried to touch you, but I couldn't get close to you! Susannah! Can you talk?"

I open my eyes, and see Jesse's brown, kind eyes searching mine for an answer. I feel my neck, it's sore, but I feel like I can talk. "It was a demon, Jesse." My voice sounds just a little hoarse. Jesse envelops me in a hug, I just sit there on the floor thinking about what Seirios said to me. He must have been talking about Paul's feelings, but why would he be worried about Paul?

"A what, Susannah?"

"A demon, the same one that held a knife to your throat last night. He is warning me."

"What did he say?" Jesse says while helping me up to my feet.

"He said that I shouldn't toy around with people's emotions, and the next time I do it, I'll be transparent."

"He threatened to kill you?" Jesse asks, a new edge to his voice.

"Yes," I say in a whisper. There's a knock on my door. "Yes?"

"Jesse? Suze?" Doc says from behind the closed door. "Dad says dinners ready."

"Thanks, David," Jesse says while putting an arm around my shoulders. "We'll be down in a minute."

I hear Doc's footsteps fade away down the stairs. I turn to face Jesse in the embrace. Jesse looks down at me, and then he pushes some of my hair out of my eyes, "Do you want to go out to dinner tomorrow night, _querida_? I think you need to get away."

Suddenly, I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. "I would love to, Jesse."

Jesse kisses me lightly on the lips, and we walk downstairs for dinner.

I look around the dinner table, which is loaded with salad, burritos, and chips and salsa. There are two extra place settings. Jesse holds out my chair for me, and then he sits down next to me. Doc looks at me from across the table. "Who else is coming?" He asks me.

I shrug and then drop my napkin into my lap, where Max's head is strategically placed. Mom walks into the dinning room, and sits down at the head of the table. Andy comes in and sits at the other head of the table. Then Dopey saunters in, along with Sleepy and some girl. She looks like a Victoria's Secret model. Thin, big boobs, and blonde hair. She's like a Kelly on steroids.

"Everyone, this is Victoria," Sleepy says and then sits down beside Andy, while Victoria sits in-between Sleepy and Dopey. _How appropriate_, I think ironically about her name, and then see that Dopey's mouth is malfunctioning. I shake my head. I glance over at Doc, who is also staring at Victoria. _Ew!_ I don't even want to think about Doc like that!

I look over at Jesse, and he is staring at Victoria too! I glare at the side of his face. I feel like I want to smack him. Suddenly all of my other emotions disappear, and I just want to have Victoria face down on the floor dying. _She has stolen my guy's stare…oh, this bitch is going down._

_DEEP BREATHS…DEEP BREATHS…_

I look at Sleepy who looks unperturbed and oblivious at all the attention Victoria is getting. He looks over at me, and raises his eyebrows, to show that yes, he does know. I shake my head and a small laugh escapes me. Everyone's eyes turn to me now.

"Suze," Andy says, "would you like to say the grace?"

"Uhh," I stumble for words, but thankfully Jesse helps me out.

"I'll say it," Jesse says, and Andy nods his head. Taking my hand, Jesse begins, "Gratias ago tibi, dominus."

For a moment, everyone is waiting, and then Jesse says, "Amen." I glance over at him, wondering if he got into Dopey's steroid stash. What kind of drug is Jesse on?"

"Dig in, I guess," Andy says and in an instant, most of the food is gone. Sleepy, Dopey, and Doc, have gone and done it again. "BOYS!" Andy yells.

They look over at their father… "Sorry Dad," they say together, and each place one of their three burritos back. Jesse takes one and places it on my plate, and then he takes another one and places it on his. I begin to eat, well, really just put stuff in my lap, and then have it sucked down by Max, my little doggie vacuum.

"So, Jesse," my mother says while piercing some salad onto her fork. "What did you say in…Spanish, was it?"

"Oh no, it's Latin for 'I give thanks to you, Lord'. Father Domi—" he stops and Mom, Andy, Doc, and Jesse all look at me. Jesse's kind eyes tell me that he's sorry.

I just stare down at my plate. I can't look at their pity filled faces, watching me. It's like they expect me to just burst out in sing-song tears. It's a horrible feeling, having everyone take pity on you.

Jesse leans over and whispers in my ear, "Are you okay? Do you need to leave?"

Even though I would love to leave, I can't leave Jesse all alone to fend for himself with my step-brothers! And especially my mom and Andy. My mother would be telling him all these embarrassing stories, while Andy would be making sure he isn't being anything but stellar to me. _Uh_, families, they're _death_.

"I'm fine," I say a little loudly to make it clear to _everyone_, but no one takes any notice.

_It's the story of my life._

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The rest of dinner was a bore, and Jesse left afterwards, and he didn't even kiss me good-bye.

I'm up in my room, lying on my bed, thinking about Paul of all people. Was the demon's warning really about Paul's emotions? I mean, why would the demon care about Paul?

Suddenly I sit up very fast, and all the blood rushes to my head.

"What if Paul is the demon's master's good friend?" I ask my room. I let the question hang there for a minute, while my mind races. "No. Paul is a lot of things, but he is not in touch with the Devil. That would just be beyond weird." I shudder.

I lay back down on my bed and my mind doesn't stop going until past midnight. After turning over all the events in my mind, I take a shower, but even that doesn't stop the flow of thoughts streaming through my head.

And what about Victoria? Is Jesse suddenly losing interest in me? I know I'm not all that attractive (especially compared to Victoria), but we are supposed to be true lovers. I mean, he was supposed to be the person I spent the rest of my life with. What is happening to him?

I finally get into bed and turn off all the lights around midnight. But my mind still doesn't stop. I don't think I finally fall asleep until like two in the morning. And even then I dream about this Jesse/Paul love triangle. Can you say _confusion_?

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Max, who licks my face at seven, awakes me. I jump out of bed, thinking that I'm late, which I am, and again I just throw on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I sling my backpack over my shoulder, and I run down the stairs. On the second landing, I trip, and fall on my face.

I just lie there for a moment, trying to remember why I thought my life was going good for a while. I sat up, slowly, already feeling dizzy. While I was sitting up, Doc was coming down the stairs. He sees me, and then rushes to my side, while pulling out a tissue.

"Here," he says and thrusts the tissue on my nose, and I whine in pain. "You tripped, didn't you?"

I nod my head, and he shakes his. "I think you need to take a day off from school, relax a bit. Maybe hang out with Jesse. He seems to have a relaxing effect on you."

"You know, David, you are a really observant kid."

David blushes, and I take the tissue away from my nose. I glance down and I see blood, and then I pass out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 9

"Susannah?"

I awake to a blurry vision of a ghost. Immediately, I know that it's Father Dominic, but for a second there I had hoped that it was my father. However, he has passed on to the next realm.

"Can you hear me?"

I nod my head to tell him I can, and he sighs. My eyes focus a little more, and I take a deep breath in. "How long have I been out for?"

"Well, from what I have overheard from your step-father, you passed out right before you were going to go to school. You awoke quickly, but were too disoriented to go anywhere. They thought it would be best to let you stay home, and have a long weekend. For more reasons than just the ones that they are saying aloud."

I notice Father Dom look sad. I bet it sucks being dead. "Hey Father," I say, and see his eyes lock onto mine. "Thanks for dropping by."

"My pleasure. But now Susannah, I would like to know more about this demon."

Of course Jesse told him. I roll my eyes, and then go on with the explanation. I tell Father D. about what Paul said about them, and how only shifters can see them. Also I told him exactly what the demon looked like and what he sounded like. And the knife. I couldn't leave that out.

"And you said you think his name is Seirios?"

"Yes. Why?" I ask sitting up in my bed, finding my choice in clothing today extremely comfortable.

"Well, in old Greek, it means burning or scorching. So it is appropriate."

"How do you know that?" I ask astonished.

"Well, Jesse gave me some good books, you know now that I have nothing to do all day. Jesse is a nice guy. And I feel that something is wrong between you two. Now, Susannah, tell me what is on your mind."

I stare after Father Dom for a minute, pondering what exactly to tell him. I mean, obviously I can't tell him that I made out with Paul. That's like against the Bible or something.

"Um. Well, I'm just worried about what the demon warned me of. He said that I shouldn't toy with people's emotions, and well, I think he was talking about Paul, because of some reasons. But then I got thinking why would the demon care about Paul."

Father Dom just looked at me, with not sign of emotion on his face. _Thanks a lot Father Dom, thanks._ I just sit there in my silence and stare out the bay window. My mind floats back to the days when Jesse was a ghost, and when I would come home to find him sitting there on the seat, reading, or waiting for me.

I let my mind wander for a while; Father Dom just twiddles his thumbs, a look of deep concentration on his face. I know he is itching for his old pack of cigarettes, which he used to hold when he was nervous. I slip off into another nap, but I am awoken by a knock on my door.

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Jesse walks into my room with a vase filled with flowers. I notice that they're red roses.

"Oh, Jesse, they're beautiful." I say to him with a smile. He sets them on my bedside table, and then sits on the bed beside me. He takes my hand in his.

"How are you feeling?" Jesse asks.

"Fine, just a little tired. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night." I give him a weak smile, and Jesse bends over and places a kiss on my forehead. Then he looks over at Father Dominic, and engages him in conversation about his book that he is reading.

I get bored quite quick and doze off, Jesse's hand clutched in mine. I have the worst dream; it's where Jesse dies, and Paul takes over his body, so I don't think Jesse's dead, but Paul's soul is in Jesse's body. It is horrible; I wake up to find myself sweating a little bit, and my hand clutched around Jesse's in fright. He is lying beside me, watching me. At once I feel truly safe. I glance around and see that Father Dom is gone.

"Hello, _querida_," Jesse says to me while placing a kiss on my nose.

"Hi," I blush and lay against my pillow.

"You were having a nightmare," Jesse states rather then inquires.

I don't say anything, 'cause there's nothing to say. "_Querida_, I'm worried about you. You were tossing and turning and saying things that worried me greatly. Do you want to talk about it?"

"What did I say?" I ask abruptly.

"You were murmuring my name and Paul's. And you whimpered a little. Is there anything you want to tell me, Susannah?" Jesse's brown eyes are filled with such love that I fall in love with him all over again. He is my one true love; I just know it in that moment. _How could I have ever thought differently?_

"Actually, I have been worried about you not liking me anymore." I say this quietly and turn my head away from his gaze.

"By _like _you mean _love_."

"No, I mean _like_."

"So you don't think I love you?"

"Well it hasn't seemed that way for a while. I mean, you have barely touched me, and I just want so much more, Jesse."

"So, you wish to be more physical? But you know that we have to wait until marriage."

"Then why don't we get married!"

"Because we have our whole life together ahead of us. We can wait!"

"I don't want to wait."

"Why can't you?" Jesse asks, his eyebrows raised.

"Because I love you too much Jesse, and when I love someone I want to be close to them, closer to them then anyone else. Jesse, I love you, with all my heart."

"I love you too Susannah, but then doesn't mean we have to rush things." Jesse squeezes my hand.

"Jesse!" I whine. "We don't have to have…_sex_. I don't mean sex when I say _physical_. I mean, like kissing and stuff. Why don't you kiss me more?"

"Because kissing leads to the other things that are unacceptable in this stage in our relationship right now."

"Jesse!" I say loudly while jumping out of bed. "This isn't the nineteenth century anymore! This is the twenty-first century! We can do whatever we want!"

"But I want to wait until we are right to experience those _moments_." Jesse gets up off the bed.

"Why?" I ask sadly while sinking into my armchair.

I hear Jesse come over to me; he kneels in front of me. "Because I love and respect you, and I want our lives together to be wonderful and full of life. I don't want to make a mistake and have it ruin our lives. We will wait. I can wait, if you can wait."

I look over at Jesse, who has taken both of my hands in his, and for a second my mind flashes to him proposing to me. But then I snap back to reality.

"Yes," I sigh. "I guess I can wait." Jesse's eyes are sad, but with a different sadness, like his mind is so full of thoughts that he just wishes I wouldn't bother him with these small things.

"Thank you, _querida_." Jesse says while kissing my hands. "Are we still going out tonight? I can pick you up at seven if you wish."

"Okay."

After kissing my lightly on the lips, Jesse leaves and I go back to my bed, utterly destroyed. Yes, I believe Jesse loves me, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be shown it occasionally. I look over at the flowers and smile. _Jesse has a different way if showing his love for me, which is just as nice._


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 10

I don't get a chance to fall back to sleep, because Andy comes into my room to see how I'm doing.

"Is there anything you want to talk about, Suze?" Andy asks while setting down a tray filled with chicken noodle soup and some French baked bread.

"Nah," I say while sinking back into the mountain of pillows on my bed. Andy sits down on the end of my bed.

"You sure? Everything is going okay with Jesse? School is going okay? You are good?"

I know he isn't mentioning Father Dominic, and that's what he most wants to know. "It's okay, An-I mean _Dad_. I'm just trying to figure things out. Especially with the whole Father Dom thing."

Andy nods his head, "Well, if you ever need to talk, you can always talk to me, kiddo." He ruffles my hair, and then tells me to eat. He shoves the bowl of soup into my hands, and for a second I ponder telling him I'm not hungry, but then I get a whiff, and I basically throw it down my throat.

It's so good, and after I finish off the bowl, I ask him if there's anymore. He looks so happy when he nods his head and rushes off downstairs to re-fill my bowl. I get out of bed, suddenly feeling like everything is going to be okay, and look out my window at the foggy bay. I smile as I see some seagulls fly by, and I can just make out some harbor seals lying on the rocks. They're so cute.

I pull my hair into a ponytail, and walk downstairs, to find Andy re-heating my soup on the stove. He smiles over at me as I enter the kitchen.

"I thought I would come down and keep you company." I say while pulling out a barstool and perching on it.

Andy's face falls. "Well, actually, kiddo, I got to go run some errands in a little bit."

"Oh, okay."

"But you are welcome to come with me, if you want. It'll be boring though."

"Well, thanks," I say, "But I think I should stay here and work on some homework. It accumulates fast."

"Yeah, I remember when I was in high school. I was on the wrestling team and the football team…it was hard to keep up with all my schoolwork, but somehow I managed to pull it off. I didn't get the grades like David does. I was more like Brad, except more focused. I swear that boy could learn a few things from his younger brother. And you. I find you are a very fine person; you are passionate and kind. And definitely sharp; you put Brad in his place, I like that about you."

I try to feel flattered, but this was getting more like a heart-to-heart with every passing second. "Thanks," I manage to squeak.

"Oh shucks! Look at the time. I gotta go. Here, just keep on stirring the soup in this pot, and in about two minutes, pour it into your bowl, and make sure to turn off the burner!" Andy is out of the house a minute later with just a "See you later!" and I am standing in the kitchen having no idea what he is talking about. _Burner?_

After investigating, I discover that the thingy the soup is cooking on is hot (thanks to my newly slightly burned palm), and I turn it off immediately. I then put the very hot soup into my bowl and let it cool off for a minute. I decide to take it outside and sit on the deck. It's a little nippy out, but I manage to let the soup soothe me. It is the best damn soup I have ever had. Somehow, it seems to go down all the way to my heart and warm it. The soup makes me feel like everything is going to be okay. I like the feeling—the feeling of never having to worry about the past, present, or future.

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Jesse comes to the house at seven, but I'm not ready until seven fifteen. I come downstairs in my flow-y skirt that comes down to my knees and a ribbed tank top. I look very relaxed. I _feel_ relaxed which is saying something.

I come down the stairs and see Jesse talking with Andy.

"And then the little kid dropped his newly bought ice cream, and he started crying," Jesse says while Andy shakes his head. "His mother refused to buy him a new one, so when all of the adults were in the other part of the museum, I bought the little boy another one. He clung to me the rest of the tour." Jesse and Andy laugh.

I walk over to them, and Andy clears his throat. "Well, I think you two should have fun. Just get her back here at midnight."

"Yes, sir," Jesse says with a smile, and then he and Andy shake hands. Andy comes in and gives me a hug. I am shocked; he has never done this before a date with Jesse.

Then he whispers in my ear, "Jesse is a keeper, kiddo." I smile while Andy pulls away and then winks at the pair of us. "See you later!" He says while walking off to the kitchen to prepare a late dinner for the rest of the family. Mom is coming home late again from the studio.

Jesse takes my hand and we walk out to his car. He opens my door for me, but before I can get in, he kisses me on the lips. I just about melt into the seat when I finally get into the car.

Jesse and I drive right over to his house, where Jesse informs me is a delicious dinner waiting. When we enter the apartment I nearly swoon. It smells so good. And I live with Andy; he is like the best cook ever. The house was always filled with smells of great cooking. But I don't think I'll ever forget the smell of Jesse's house; it smells of…love. That's the only way to describe the feeling that came over me.

Jesse takes my hand, and kisses the top of it. "You look amazing," he says while looking at my outfit.

"When do I not?" I ask flirtatiously. The corner of Jesse's mouth hooks up, and he looks damn sexy. I lean in and kiss him before he can lean away. I wrap my arms around his neck, while Jesse holds me at the waist. It is a simple kiss, but soon enough Jesse breaks it off.

"Let's eat dinner," he says while taking my hand and leading me into the kitchen of his little apartment. I look around and see a big arrangement of food. It all looks delicious. Enchiladas, Spanish rice, and quesadillas. Jesse holds out my chair for me and I sit down gracefully. Jesse finishes putting some stuff on the table, and then sits down opposite me. He waits for me to fill my plate, and then serves himself. I smile over at him the whole time.

When Jesse eats, he doesn't shove everything down his throat. He has better manors than that (he has better manors than I do!), growing up in the nineteenth century and all. You know sometimes it has its perks, and other times I just wish it had never happened, because then I might actually get some action…

We talk while we eat, but it's of no importance. Jesse tactfully avoids the whole Father Dom-is-dead-and-Paul's-maybe-demon-threatening-us-thing, and I avoid the whole why-aren't-we-making-out-right-now?-thing. I stare at Jesse, and he stares at me. Suddenly I get very hot_. Uh! I need to make out!_

We clean up dinner; I insist on helping him. It's like we're married already, and we live together. It is kinda nice playing 'house'. Jesse washes, while I dry. He claims that way my hands won't get dirty. I try not to remind him that I'm a mediator. It's my job to get dirty literally and hypothetically. After washing the dishes and storing the leftovers, we go into his common room and sit down on the couch, fully intending to watch a movie.

Jesse has trouble getting to the menu of the DVD, and I don't dare try to help him. It's a macho thing. But when he does get it (five minutes later) I see that it's the _Notebook_.

"You rented the _Notebook_?" I ask him while he hits play on the remote.

"Yes."

"Well, why did you do that?"

"Because I want this to be like a real date, and so I went up to the saleswoman in the video store, and asked what was a good 'girl movie', and she gave me the _Notebook_. It's a book you know, too." Jesse seems so proud of himself, that I don't have the heart to tell him that I would have been good with a good action packed movie…I'm not really into the whole chick flick.

But I find the movie really interesting, and Jesse seems to by enjoying himself. Well, that in until they are about to do it in an old house. Then he gets a little tense. I just sit there staring at the screen, wishing that it were Jesse and I in the big house. It is about the time when they have taken off their clothes that Jesse gets up and turns off the TV.

"Jesse!" I whine. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because! It was inappropriate!" Jesse looks really angry and exhausted. I get up and walk over to him.

"Jesse, is there something wrong?" I ask while taking his hand in mine.

"Whenever I see something like that. Two people getting intimate, I ask myself why am I not doing that with _mi_ _querida_. But then I remember my morals. Sometimes I just get confused and wonder what the hell I'm doing with you." Jesse sinks down into the couch.

I sit beside him and cuddle up against his shoulder. He jerks away. "_Querida_! This is what I'm talking about! You can't tempt me!" He huffs, "Whenever I see you I just think about all these inappropriate things to do to you, to do with you. And you don't help when you where low-cut tops and clingy clothing! Susannah, I just want to take it slow. We have the rest of our lives to be together. Why are you in such a rush to have _sex_?"

I just look at him. He is so worked up. "I don't know, Jesse. I guess I thought it would bring us closer."

"But _querida_, we are close now."

"You're right," I say in a small voice. "What can I do to not make you get all confused?"

"Well, you can't wear certain clothes, and we must draw a line somewhere when kissing."

"BUT WE NEVER KISS!" Suddenly I'm enraged. I can't _take_ anymore. "Jesse, I'm going home! Good night."

I walk out of the door, and begin running back towards my house. All I have to say is thank God I wore flats. I am only a block away from Jesse's apartment, when I hear my name being shouted.

"Susannah! Susannah! Let's talk!" Jesse yells. He is running behind me, and he's gaining on me.

"NO!" I yell back, my breath already ragged. And here I thought I was in good shape. Jesse chases me for another block, and then grabs me by the arm. I loose my balance, and I trip and fall into the grass beside the sidewalk. _Oh great! Now grass stains on my skirt!_ Jesse falls on top of me.

"_Querida_," Jesse says softly into my hair. I huff, and try to sit up so I can begin running away again. Jesse holds me down, and all of a sudden, in our rush of adrenaline, Jesse kisses me—hard on the mouth, with tongue.

The kissing is nice, but it does nothing for my out-of-breath-ness. I just wrap my arms around Jesse while he kisses me some more. I can feel that his kisses are filled with anger and confusion, but I'm enjoying it nonetheless. Then in one swift movement, Jesse is off of me and is pacing and cursing in Spanish.

"Jesse?" I say delicately.

He doesn't respond—just keeps on pacing and cursing. I get up, brush off my skirt, and walk away.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 11

As I am walking away I strain my ears for any sounds of Jesse coming after me, but none come. I keep on walking and thinking. I bet he doesn't even notice I'm gone.

After about five blocks, I break into a run, just dieing to get away from all of my problems. My feet are pounding on the sidewalk and it feels good to just be running. Maybe I should do it more often.

The lights pass me quickly and soon I am plummeted into darkness; I am letting my feet take me where they want to go, so I have no idea where I am headed, and I really don't care. I am still running, breathing heavily, letting the cold air sting my lungs. I can already feel the stitch in my side, but I won't let that stop me. I am constantly thinking. Thinking about Jesse and Paul, about my future, about what it was supposed to be like with Jesse: picture-perfect.

_But some pictures aren't perfect_, I think to myself. _Take for example that one of me and Gina—_

_It was a matter of speech!_ Another part of my personality yells at the first part.

_FINE!_ The first one yells, then there is blackness, and I can't see five feet in front of me.

I stop, and try to figure out whether or not I should turn around. Or if I can even remember which way I came from. Suddenly I realize I shouldn't have let this happen. Something bad is bound to happen. But I'm a big girl, and I can take care of myself.

With confidence I take steps forward, then somebody grabs my arm, and I feel my breath catch as I spin around—ready to attack.

I throw the punch, and I hear someone double over and moan. A flashlight is dropped and a silhouette of my attacker comes into my view. For once, I decide to ask questions first and punch later.

"Who the hell are you?" I ask, rage smothering my tone of voice.

"Suze…" The voice is weak and muffled.

It's Paul! I don't know why, but I am happy to see him, suddenly, I feel like I am not alone in this world. I have a friend.

"Oh my God! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to—I thought you were—" I catch myself before letting Jesse's name slip.

"You thought I was who?" Paul asks while standing up while I grab his flashlight.

"Just a rapist."

"Come on, Suze. Me of all people, know that you, wouldn't be afraid of a rapist," Paul says while smiling at me and rubbing his jaw.

"I'm sorry," I say while motioning to his jaw.

"Don't worry, it's not made of glass," Paul smiles again and then steps closer. "So are you going to tell me what you were afraid of, or not?"

I turn away from him and shine some light on our surroundings. It's the Mission's graveyard. Funny how your subconscious knows exactly where you should be—Jesse's tombstone is here, we still haven't had it removed yet. _I should be with Jesse_, I think, and then turn back to Paul.

"Oh, him," Paul says while sitting down on one of the benches. I sit next to him and suddenly I feel warm. I get closer and shiver. Paul wraps his arm around me.

"How do you always know, Paul?" I ask.

"It's the look in your eyes; the look of complete happiness. The look I know I can never give you." Paul sounds so sad that I almost want to cry.

"Oh Paul. I don't know what to do. Jesse is mad at me. We had a fight, and it was about the most stupid thing." I sigh and snuggle in closer to Paul, loving the physical closeness, something I rarely get from Jesse.

"What was the fight about?" He asks while squeezing me tighter.

"Jesse refuses to be physical with me. He _barely_ kisses me, and when we do get into it, he has to stop it, so we don't 'feel pressured to go further'," I sigh again.

"Suze, Jesse loves you and he doesn't want you two to make a mistake and jump on the bandwagon took quickly."

I think about what Paul is saying, and then I look up at him, and shine the light in his eyes. "Well, what if I want to 'jump on the bandwagon'?" I ask viscously.

"Well, then you would know that it's not just girls who get pressured into sex with their boyfriends. It can be the other way around too." Paul looks down at me, and then pushes the light out of his eyes so it's illuminating us.

I am too stunned to talk. _Is that what I have been doing? Pressuring Jesse into sex? Oh my God!_ I stare at Paul, who has a smirk on his face. _Damn he looks good_, I think and then regret it, because I should be making my way back to Jesse to apologize for my actions. Instead I am here, snuggled up to Paul in the dark, alone, about to jump his bones, because I am so horny.

Paul smiles down at me, and I can tell that there isn't a dark thought in his beautiful head. I just know, at that moment, that he has nothing to do with the demon, and that I can't wait any longer. I tilt my head back and close my eyes.

Paul's lips are on mine before I can say, "Kiss me."

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Paul's hand goes up my skirt while his tongue is in my mouth. He kisses differently from Jesse, but it's still good. My hands find their way under Paul's shirt, and I slide my palms up to his pecs. His body is all warm and inviting.

I'm enjoying the kissing, and then suddenly Paul picks me up and sits me on his lap. He lays me down on the cold, stone bench and begins kissing me much more fiercely. My hands, which are now out of his shirt, slide down his back. I then feel his butt, which is very nice. In the mean time, Paul is kissing my neck. He then comes back to my mouth and does this funny thing with his tongue and I am so startled that I leap up and fall on the ground.

"What was that?" I ask, my eyes as wide as a startled deer's.

Paul just shrugs, and then sits up on the bench. I am right next to the bench, so he doesn't have to move to help me up. He sits me close to him, and once again I can feel his warmth.

"You have totally ruined the moment." Paul says while wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

I look up at him, and he looks down at me, and I know he knows that it is coming. "Paul."

"Suze," Paul says with sadness in his voice.

"I can't do this. I can't do this to you, and to Jesse, and well to me. I just need to think about it," I pause and see what kind of reaction I'm going to get out of Paul. "Are you mad at me, Paul?"

"No," Paul says quickly. "I completely understand. But just know this: I'm here for you when you need me. But I only ask of you, is that you don't play with my emotions."

I nod my head, and then I do a double take_. Noooo, Paul can't be sending that demon to threaten me…it's just too wicked…even for the old Paul._ Paul smiles down at me and hugs me tighter, and I shiver at his touch. It's not him, it's just I'm thinking and I was deep in thought.

"You're as cold as ice," Paul comments, "come on, I'm sure Jesse and your mom and your step-father are all worried sick about you. Let me take you home."

"Okay," I say while getting up. Paul doesn't take his arm off of my shoulders, and on some level it feels good, but then my instinct kicks in and I shiver again. We walk around the Mission and past the parking lot. And then when we walk about another block, before I see Paul's black Beemer in a parking spot looking very comfy.

Paul is a gentleman and opens my door for me, this time I hold my skirt tight around my legs. If he notices, he doesn't let on. I just sink back into the leather seats while the heat blasts and Paul weaves his way to my house on the tree-lined streets.

While I am sitting there in the bucket seat, I feel my feet, and they hurt. My whole body aches and I want to just collapse and fall asleep in the nice warm comfy environment.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 12

When I wake up to the pounding in my head and my aching feet, I squeeze my eyes shut to see if I can go back to sleep. But my mind is restless, and I start remembering snippets from last night. Jesse and I had a fight, I made out with Paul, and then he drove me home. I bolt up and find myself in my bed. With the rush of the sudden movement, my head screams in agony.

I squint my eyes, and realize that I am alone in the room. _Thank God_. I get out of bed slowly and put my feet gently on the floor; they too scream in protest and I whimper at the soreness of my soles. Finally, I get up enough nerve to walk into my bathroom, and take a shower. I wash my hair and scrub my entire body.

After letting the hot water pound on my back, I regretfully get out of the shower and step into some comfy jeans and my black leather jacket, which makes me feel less vulnerable. When I walk back into my room, I jump when I see Jesse sitting on the window seat looking out into the sea.

He doesn't realize I'm there, so I just look at him, and remember all the times I would come home and see him just sitting there either reading or petting his cat. He looks so serene and at peace. It's like his mind is settled. I wish mine could be like that.

Jesse turns him head after a minute, and his brown eyes sadden me when I look into them.

"Hello Suze," he says while getting up from the window seat.

"Hi Jesse." I notice that there's something different about the way he is talking and there's even a different glint in his eye.

"I'm sorry about last night." He says while walking over to me. "But I want to make it up to you, Suze. I want to make everything better. Can I do that?"

I smile at him while he wraps his arms around my waist. All of a sudden I get this weird feeling that Jesse's changed in more than one way, but I shrug it off. "Okay," I agree, and Jesse smirks. He has never smirked before. It looks kind of nice, but at the same time weird.

Jesse smiles at me when I smile up at him, and then he comes down and kisses me hard on the lips. I am so startled that it takes my breath away. His tongue darts into my mouth, much like how Paul was kissing me last night, and Jesse's arms tighten around my waist.

I wrap my arms around his neck, and Jesse starts pushing me towards my bed. I stop him and break the kiss. "Jesse, what are you doing?"

"I thought we were going to make out."

"Well, I really don't feel like making out right now. It's too early, and I ache all over. Can we do it some other time?"

"Well, what about tonight? You can come over to my house, and we can have our date over again." Jesse's uses puppy eyes on me.

"No, Jesse, remember, I'm hanging out with CeeCee tonight. But maybe sometime this week we can do something. Right now, I have to go somewhere, so I'll call you, okay?"

Jesse doesn't say anything, so I slide on some flip-flops, and make my way to the door.

"Wait," Jesse says while grabbing my arm. "Where are you going?"

"That's none of your business!" I say while trying to get away from Jesse, but his grip is like a vice.

"You're aren't going over to Paul's are you?" Jesse asks maliciously.

"Well, what if I am?" I ask while pulling away and wondering what the hell got into Jesse all of a sudden.

"Suze, you know I don't trust that guy. He's bad news," Jesse says and lets go of my arm momentarily.

"Well, you know what Jesse, I think that you are _bad_ news right now. So, good-bye." I get out of my room, and run down the steps, taking two at a time. I slide into the garage and throw myself in the car.

Revving the engine, I pull out of my driveway and into the street. I head off towards Paul's house.

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Paul has given me hot cocoa and has listened to me tell my story about how Jesse was acting weird. He listens, and the whole time he doesn't smirk. It makes me nervous. I wonder if Paul has changed too.

I look around his room. We're sitting on his bed, and suddenly I want to be closer to him.

"Paul," I say after telling my story.

"Yes, Suze?" He asks while locking his eyes with mine.

"I was wondering what you think about how Jesse is acting. Do you think it was wrong of him to be that way with me?"

Paul looks at me and then takes my hand in his. "I think it was wrong of him to hold you the way he did. And you know Suze that I would never be that rough with you."

I nod my head and then place my cup on his nightstand. Paul is still holding my hand, and for one moment, it feels like its Jesse's hand holding mine. "Have you decided?"

"Decided on what?" I ask while looking back at Paul's eyes.

"On if you want to be with me or with Jesse."

"Well, as of right know, I think it would be wrong to not give Jesse a second chance. I mean, he's supposed to be my soul mate. Do you believe in soul mates?" I ask him.

Paul doesn't hesitate for a moment, but he just looks me in the eye and says, "I believe in you." Then he kisses me, and I swear it is the best kiss I have ever had. It makes me feel whole, and I cherish the feeling.

I expect Paul to try and make out with me, but he stops and takes my hand instead. I just look at him puzzled and bewildered by the mouth-melting kiss I have just received. "Oh Susannah," he whispers in my ear.

I look at him and he looks at me, and we just sit there on his bed, holding hands, and I feel as if I am complete, which is something I never expected to feel with Paul. Spooked, I get up and begin pacing about the room.

Paul doesn't ask any questions, he just watches me as I pace and think. I think about if I should just give up on Jesse and go to Paul, or if I should stick with Jesse, to see if he has really changed, or if it was just today he's in a strut. I think about how Paul kissed me, and how I had felt alive. It was like when the first time Jesse kissed me. That was the best kiss of my life. It had been filled with love, and hope, and a future. Now, when I kiss Jesse, all I feel are the remnants of that love; he doesn't kiss me like that.

_It's probably because he is afraid of being passionate, because then he would loose all self-control, and you both would do something you're not read for, _some part of my smarter side of my brain says to me.

I huff out loud, and then look at Paul, who is looking straight at me, and I can feel his stare all the way down to my toes. It makes me blush.

"Are you okay?" Paul asks when I sit down on the floor and cross my legs Indian-style.

I nod my head, but I don't really mean it; I am still deep in thought. Paul seems to sense this, and lets me think. After a while, he lies down on his down comforter and begins to snore softly.

I get up quietly, write him a note, and then look back at him sleeping. I tiptoe over to him, bend over, and give him a light kiss on the cheek. Then I leave and go back to my house.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 13

I jump into my car, well, the _kid's_ car, and start my journey home. I think about a lot of things; and I am deep in thought when Father Dom besides to _pop_ in for a visit. I almost crash.

"Jesus!"

"Susannah!" Father Dom says loudly while I veer to avoid a big truck.

"Well what do you expect?" I ask viciously, while trying to settle the beat of my heart.

"I need to ask you if you have looked at my body yet at the morgue."

An "oh" of surprise comes out of me and I shift in my seat nervously. I am silent for a moment, trying to figure out how I became so heartless all of a sudden, but then I decided to go to the morgue right now.

"Actually, I think I'm going to go to the morgue right now. How about that Father D?" I ask while making a U-turn and heading towards downtown.

Father Dominic is silent and I catch a glance over at him, and he is as white as a ghost.

"You don't have to come in with me if you don't want to," I say gently, "but I would like it if you were to be with me afterward."

Father Dom just nods his head and then leans back into the seat and closes his eyes. It is a quick trip to the morgue and when I pull in, I think about leaving the engine on, but then I ask myself why, and I can't come up with an answer. I guess I am just so used to ghost's presence that sometimes I forget that other people can't see them and then they aren't actually _here_.

I walk into the morgue and up to the front desk, where a young woman of about twenty-five or so is sitting filing her long fingernails. I clear my throat as I walk up to the desk. The woman looks up at me from under her long, thick eyelashes, and asks, "Can I help you?"

Personally, I think she has 'bitch' written across her forehead, but I let it slide. "Yes, I would like to see Father Dominic's body, please."

"This isn't a museum. Take it some place else." She smirks at me and then goes back to filing her nails.

"I am a relative, and I would like to see my grandfather, because I haven't seen him in ten years."

Her eyes flash up at me, and then she says, "Sorry about that," all sweetly and makes me sign in and then pushes a button on the wall behind her. A sliding door opens and she instructs me to walk on back, someone is waiting for me.

I walk through the door and get an instant chill, and it's not just from the drop in temperature. I walk all the way to the back before I see someone who isn't dead.

He's cute, in a nerdy type of way. The guy has on a white lab coat that is splattered with certain substances that I really don't want to know the details of. But his hair is ruffled and he has a smile on his face. His nametag reads Dr. Jacobs.

"Hi, Suze. I'm Dr. Jacobs." He sticks out his hand and I shake it.

"Hi," I say meekly.

"I was told that you were a relative of Father Dominic. Now, how is that possible, when Father is a Catholic priest?"

_Damn, caught._

"Well," I stutter for a moment. "Actually," I begin while slumping my shoulders, "I'm was a student of his down at the Mission, and I just kind of wanted to say good-bye to him. He means a lot to me." I try to moisten my eyes, but it just isn't working. Thank God Dr. Jacobs is a nice guy.

"Okay," he says, "this way." I follow his through the rows of dead people. It feels so empty…and I have to deal with ghosts all the time. I shouldn't be affected like this, but I suppose ghosts are different from dead bodies. I mean, ghosts can actually talk, while dead bodies are just masses without their soul anymore.

I keep close to Dr. Jacobs, not only because he smells good, but because I am genuinely scared to be caught alone in this dank place. Finally we reach one of the tables, and I can see the outlines of the body, which is draped in a white shroud. I hold my breath, while Dr. Jacobs checks the toe-tag before whipping off the cloth.

It's Father Dominic all right, and in a moment I can see all of him still dressed in his pajamas. Dr. Jacobs steps back for a moment and when my eyes travel from his toe-tag to his head, I nearly faint at what I find on his neck.

Before I know it, I am freefalling and everything turns black.

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I awake groggily in a wood paneled room, lying on a sofa with a blanket covering me. I sit up and find that Dr. Jacobs is filing some papers in his filing cabinet.

"I'm sorry," I say, and Dr. Jacobs looks around and smiles at me.

"Happens all the time, Miss Suze." He says with a playful smile. "So, what did you faint at? The sight of the body? Or more?"

I gasp. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I had an interesting visit with Father Dominic while you were out."

This guy must be nuts! I think while trying to hide my surprise.

"Really?" I ask while raising my eyebrows for dramatic flare.

"Oh yes, I am a shifter. And I thought I was the only one, until you came along. It seems you have two friends who can see ghosts, and a teacher as well. Father Dominic has gotten me up to date. But I was wondering if you could explain that horrible looking gash across Father Dominic's throat."

Uh, I get a flashback, and I feel myself feel swoon-y again. "I don't know, but I intend to find out as soon as possible. Dr. Jacobs, is Father Dom still around?"

Dr. Jacobs' jerks his head, motioning that he is out in the body room. "I think he is looking at his…_past_ self." I smile at his careful choice in words, and thank him while I re-fold his blanket. I walk out of the office and make my way through the maze of carts topped with dead people. It kinda creeps me out, but then I find Father Dominic, and suddenly everything is okay.

I come up behind him silently, and plan on scaring him, but he knows I'm there, so he says, "Hello Susannah."

"Hey, Father Dom," I say while standing beside him.

"I heard about what you thought about my body. Dr, Jacobs' says that there is a gash on my throat, but I don't see anything." Father Dom sounds puzzled and worried. I look back down at his corpse and steady myself for the grotesque image. There's the gash, which is deep and infected.

"You seriously don't see it?" I ask astonished.

"No."

I bend down closer to Father Dom's body. Around the edges of the gash are tattoo-like markings. It just looks like random letters, but then I realize that it is tiny Latin words. I stand up and all the blood rushes to my head.

"Dr. Jacobs!" I call, and a moment later, he is bounding toward me.

"Yes? Did you find something?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you had seen the Latin words on the edge of the gash."

"Really?" Dr. Jacobs asks while taking out a magnifying glass. We bend over the corpse and look through the glass and I can see the word much more clearly.

"What does it say?" I ask anxiously.

Dr. Jacobs says some stuff really fast in what I can only see to be in Latin. Father Dom turns whiter than white.

"What?" I ask again. "What does all that mean?"

"Susannah, it says, 'O miserable you, cut by this knife, shall send you to the deep depths of hell.'" He puts his hands in his head, and I know that he is praying for God to give his mercy. However, I know better, and I have a hunch.

"Oh my God!" I say while clasping my hands over my mouth.

Dr. Jacobs puts a hand on my shoulder to balance myself if I should faint again.

"Father, I must go. We will talk later. Dr. Jacobs, thank you for all your kindness, you might be hearing from me soon." He quickly hands me his card, and I dash for the exit, leaving Father still praying into his palms and Dr. Jacobs bent over his body still examining the gash.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 14

On the ride home, I call up CeeCee.

"CeeCee!" I yell when she finally answers.

"Suze!" She replies with sarcasm in her voice.

"Hey, I was wondering, oh queen of Google, if you would be so kind to look up something for me."

"I will if you promise not to call me the queen of Google again," CeeCee says and I can hear her smiling into the phone.

"Deal. Okay, I need you to find any swords or daggers in Christian history."

"Sure, no problem…I'll print out some stuff and then bring it to the Coffee Clutch when we get together tonight. What did we say, eight-ish?"

"Yeah, I'll be there! Thanks a million, CeeCee." We hang up and I drive right to my house, and make sure that Jesse isn't there before I pull up into the driveway. When the car is safely back in the garage, I bound upstairs to enroll the help of Doc.

I find him in his room, but I knock first before entering.

"Come on in," he says. I open the door to find his eyes gazing at me just over a big book on J. Edger Hoover. I try not to grimace. "Hey Suze."

"Hey David!" I say while sitting down on his desk chair. "Hey, I was wondering if you knew anything about magical or spiritual weapons."

"Like what?" He asks while putting his finger in his book to mark his page.

"Well, like a religious dagger, that sends people to hell when they are cut with it. But the catch is only certain kind of people can see it."

"You mean your kind of people?"

"Yes," I say.

"Well I don't know of anything offhand, but I can look some stuff up for you in the ancient texts department of the downtown library if you want."

"Sure that would be great! Do you want to go now?" I ask getting up and heading for the door.

"Actually, Suze, in about thirty minutes, I'm going to a movie with a friend."

"A friend?" I ask astonished.

"Well, a friend that is a girl," David says a blush cross his face.

"And do you like this girl?"

"Yes," he says quietly.

"Does she like you?"

"As a friend at the most," David says disappointment filling his tone.

"Well, the way I see it is that she is already out with you, so you don't have to worry about if she likes you or not, because she didn't have to go to the movies with you."

David smiles at that and thanks me. Before I leave he assures me that he'll get Andy to drop him off at the library after the movie. I thank him and then leave and go to my room for some peace and quiet.

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After lying down on my bed for only a moment, the phone rings, I decided to pick it up.

"Hello?" I ask while looking down at my toenails, which I decided need a little color.

"Suze!" It's CeeCee. "You have to come over, right now, I have found something that'll interest you. You could bring over Jesse too, if you want."

"Nah, I'll be over in a few. Thanks! Bye!"

"Bye," CeeCee Says and then hangs up. I am out of my room before I can even looking the mirror. I run down to the kitchen to tell Andy where I'm going.

"I'm going over to CeeCee's," I say while poking my head into the kitchen. A wonderful smell hits my nose, and my stomach reminds me that I haven't had anything to eat today.

"Are you sure you don't want something to eat first? Knowing you, Suze, your day has been so busy that you haven't even given any thought to food."

I stare at Andy wondering how the hell he knew. "Well, if you can give me something to go it would be greatly appreciated," I say while stepping into the kitchen and sitting on the stool while I watch Andy whip around the kitchen at lightning speed.

"So, what did Jesse want?" Andy asks.

"We had a fight and he just wanted to reconcile."

"From what he told me, you didn't let him…" Andy looks over his shoulder at me and I shiver at the thought of this morning and last night.

"Well, I don't know, I guess I haven't been able to forgive him in my heart yet."

"Do you think you can forgive him, Suze?" Andy asks while re-heating some soup for me.

"I don't know," I say quietly while biting my lip and clutching my hands.

"Well, for what it's worth, when I talked to him this morning over breakfast, he hardly ate anything and he looked really—broken. Suze, Jesse is the type of man who loves hard and not often. You need to be able to love him back, because he has taken a chance with you, and I think you need to let him love you." Andy sets the bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup in front of me on the bar and I whiff the smell, but I find myself not hungry anymore.

"I'm sorry, Andy…I have to go." I get up quickly and am out of the kitchen before you can wink an eye. I am breathing heavily when I get into the car. I am starting up the engine when Dopey comes out and yells at me.

"I need the car!" He yelled to me while I was pulling out of the garage.

I stop the car and sigh. "Well, I'm already in it, Brad…so, I can drop you off somewhere, but I'm keeping the car."

He huffed then jumped in and huffed again.

"So where are you off too?"

"None of your business." Brad said stubbornly.

"Well, then how do you suppose I drive you there, silly?" I ask in a mocking tone.

Brad huffed again and then reluctantly told me the arcade. I just smiled and nodded while I backed up the driveway. Brad could be so childish sometimes…but he was good for one thing, taking my mind off of other things that were making me ache all over.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 15

I drop Brad off at the arcade where he meets some of his jock friends. _They are all so immature_, I think and then drive off to CeeCee's. I'm anxious to hear what she has to say, but on another hand, I'm scared.

Once I throw the car into park in CeeCee's driveway, I jump out of the car and run into her house.

"CeeCee!" I yell while running up to her room.

"In here, Simon!" I hear CeeCee yell. I open the door to find CeeCee sitting at her computer, her eyes scanning a printed page in her hands.

"What's that?" I ask while sitting down on her bed.

"This is it. I think this is it." She hands it to me, and I glance at her. She is whiter than usual, and I'm suddenly worried about her.

"Are you okay?" I ask while leaning towards her.

"I'm fine, Simon," CeeCee says roughly. "Just read the page!" I shake my head at her stubbornness, and then look down at the page, which is titled "The Forgotten Dagger". I shudder at the name. I just scan it briefly and at the bottom is a sketch of the dagger. It looks oddly familiar.

I start at the beginning of the paper, and read it thoroughly, while CeeCee wrings her hands together.

"_The Forgotten Dagger"_

_When the Prince of Darkness fell from Heaven, there was a war, in which Lucifer used the Forgotten Dagger. It was named this because of what it does to the souls it killed. The Dagger makes the souls of the people it kills go right to Hell; and in the deep dark depths of Hell, they are forgotten—not only by God, but by everyone on earth who ever knew them. The only person who still remembers the lost soul is the person who killed them with the Dagger._

It goes on and I read it, but all the while I feel queasy inside. If this is true, then when will I forget Father Dom? What if I can't save him in time? Will God really forget about such a devout servant?

I look over at CeeCee, who, although she doesn't know the while story, knows that it is bad.

"You have to go," CeeCee says to me before I open my mouth to tell her the exact same thing.

I nod my head and then head out the door.

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I find myself driving, but not knowing where to go. The obvious choice is Paul…he would know what to do, but what if he is in on the plan with the demon, like I originally thought. Then there's Jesse, but I have a feeling he's not going to be into anything but touching. And I just came from CeeCee.

I really don't think I could go to Father Dom, I mean he had a big shock already today…

So the only (rational) choice I'm left with is Paul, plus I think I want to see him again. I start heading over there, and when I'm a couple minutes away, I call him on my cell. It clicks over to voice-mail.

"Hey Paul, it's me Suze! I was just wondering if we could talk. I'm heading over to your house right now…so I'll see you in a sec." I hang up the phone and then pull into his driveway. After parking the car, I walk up the stone walkway and knock on the big glass door.

His grandfather's nurse answers the door.

"Yes?" He asks me with raised eyebrows.

"I'm here to see Paul."

"He's not here."

Thinking fast, I say, "Well, I only need to pick up something I left in his room. It's really important." I use my best flirty eyes. They work, and one minute later, I'm in Paul's sterile room staring around me. I have no idea what I want to find in here, but I start poking around nonetheless.

After a couple of minutes, I search under his bed and pull out all of his shifter information. I open the box and shuffle through all the old looking papers and such. And then I find it. The same sketch of the Dagger. I shudder and get up quickly to my feet while backing away from Paul's bed.

"Suze?" I bump into Paul and shiver again. "What are you doing here?"

I turn around and take a step back. "I wanted to talk to you, and your grandfather's nurse let me up here to wait for you. I called your cell."

"Oh." Paul looks down at the open box of shifter information.

"I was only poking around. I didn't mean to—"

"It's quite alright," Paul says while putting a silencing finger to my mouth.

I look into his eyes, and for a moment I see Jesse's big, dark, brown pools…but then they flash back to Paul's steel blue ones, and I shiver.

"Are you cold again?" Paul asks while putting an arm around me. I don't say anything. "So what did you want to talk about?" He asks while sitting us down on the bed.

"I c-can't remember," I say clumsily.

Paul looks into my eyes and smiles. "That's okay," he says while squeezing my shoulders. "You're entitled once in a while."

"Only once in a while?" I say pseudo aghast.

"Yes. Only once in a while," Paul says with a playful smile dancing across his face. I stare at him while he smiles down at me, and for a moment I _forget_.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 16

Paul stares into my eyes for a moment, and I feel my heart start beating harder and faster. I let Paul wrap his arms around me from behind, while I turn my head and stare up at him. Then in one quick moment I feel Paul take my breath away with one single kiss.

I turn around in Paul's arms and wrap my hands in his hair. I pull him closer towards me. He pushes himself up against me and deepens our kiss. I expect him to push me back against the wall or onto the bed soon, but Paul doesn't make a move and that makes me all the more turned on. Suddenly I'm the one pulling Paul and me towards the wall, where Paul pushes me slightly against it.

He kisses me harder and puts his hand on my waist. I melt way into his mouth; something grasps my heart in that moment and I feel tears wetting my cheeks.

Paul pushes me back gently and looks into my eyes again. Then, he takes me gently up in his arms and whispers in my ear. What he whispers makes me run out of the room, with more tears steaming down my face.

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I am not concentrating on anything except what Je-I mean Paul just whispered in my ear. I run out of the door, and hop into my car and speed off, not knowing where to go. I just drive, and end up at the Coffee Clutch.

I walk in and order a primo chocolate ice-cream thing and then slump into a chair. I take a gulp and then close my eyes trying to remember the stuff before the whisper. The kissing had been good. It was really good, but then he had to ruin it when he whispered that one word in my ear.

I feel my face begin to heat up again, and then I felt the tears start streaming down my face. I try to hide my face behind my big plastic ice-cream thing. Although it doesn't work, because someone puts their hand on my shoulder and says, "Excuse me."

I turn around bringing my hand up to my face to wipe away the one last tear. "Yes?" I ask while looking up.

However, I don't see anyone, but then I look around and see someone walking away from me. _Just my luck_, I think bitterly. Then I turn back to my table and take a sip of my coffee. I look over the edge of my coffee cup and I see Jesse sitting across the table from me. I cough and gasp, "Jesse! What are you doing here?"

"Well I thought that you and CeeCee were meeting up here, and I thought maybe afterward you and I could go back to my place. We need to talk," Jesse says while looking deep into my eyes.

"Oh," I say quietly and set down my coffee cup. "I met up with CeeCee earlier today."

"So, you're free right now?"

I nod and then take another sip of my coffee.

"Well then, would you like to come with me to my place?" Jesse asks while searching my soul through my eyes.

I feel myself shrink away from him, but my voice say, "Sure."

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Jesse puts his hand on my lower back while we walk to his house from the Coffee Clutch. It's only a ten-minute walk, and it's nice outside. Jesse doesn't talk much, but he does keep me very close to him as we walk. I don't dare look or talk to him.

Once we're inside his house, Jesse takes my hand and lifts it up to his lips. I pull my hand away slightly, but Jesse tightens his grip, and kisses the top of my hand. I shiver just a little.

"Suze? What's wrong?" Jesse asks while pulling me a little closer.

"Nothing…you wanted to talk to me about something, Jesse?"

"Yes," he says. "Here, sit down."

I sat, and Jesse sat down closely beside me. "So…"

"So…" Jesse started, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I say shortly.

"You don't sound fine," Jesse says coyly.

"Have you been talking to Slater?" I ask Jesse abruptly.

"Why?" He asks with raised eyebrows.

"Well, today, he said something to me that I thought only you knew."

"And what is that?" Jesse asks me while putting his hand on my knee.

I open my eyes wide and then raise my eyebrows.

"Oh!" Jesse says after a moment, and then edges closer to me. "I don't know how Slater found out…but I don't like that he did." In one moment I see a flash back to the old Jesse and how he would get angry with Paul for being involved with me. His pupils dilate and color rushes to his light brown cheeks. Suddenly some Spanish words fly out of Jesse's mouth and the light bulb pops over my head.

"Oh Jesse!" I squeal and then practically jump into his lap.

Jesse reacts quickly by wrapping his arms around me and slipping his hand closer to my butt. I moan while he kisses me deeper. It feels good. Kissing with Paul was good too, but kissing Jesse is different. There is this connection that I know will never burn out.

Suddenly Jesse lifts me up in his arms and places me on my back on the couch. _Now we're getting somewhere!_ I am so turned on that I almost miss how turned on Jesse is.

"Oh Suze," Jesse mutters while kissing my neck. I turn my head so more of my neck is exposed. Jesse makes a trail of kisses down my neck and to my chest. I don't even flinch when he lifts up my shirt to reveal my belly and trails it kisses. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do this, Suze."

"Susannah," I whisper, dieing for that special connection only him and I share.

"Susannah," Jesse whispers and suddenly I have a flashback to when I first met him. "Can we—"

"Can we what?" I ask while Jesse leans over me and stares into my eyes.

Jesse is silent.

"Jesse? What's wrong? What are you trying to say?"

Jesse is still silent and then he leans down and kisses me with a full open mouth and for some reason this kiss doesn't take my breath away.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 17

Jesse and I continue making out…and then some time passes and making out turns into something else. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but one of his hands is under my shirt, my jeans have gone MIA, and my hair is out of my ponytail. In fact I have never seen Jesse this worked up before.

We are still on the couch Jesse's tongue in my mouth, when all of a sudden he stops stands up and picks me up in his arms. I find myself lost in a romantic fantasy. I don't pay attention to what Jesse is doing, because I am in a daydream. But then I feel myself fall, and I am on Jesse's bed. He is cowering over me.

"Suze." Jesse throws himself on top of me. "I love you. I always have! I need you; I want you, oh, so bad. Suze."

Under this weight I can't really say much—so I just kind of grunt.

"Suze?" Jesse asks leaning up over me. "Are you ready?"

I hesitate trying to figure out what the hell Jesse is talking about. "Ready to do what?" I ask.

Jesse's eyes darken and he comes in closer to me; his lips hover over mine. I feel myself shiver with a hunger. Jesse's breath teases my lips; I take a deep, unsteady breath. As a response he smirks, the damn sexy bastard. I drag my teeth across my lips.

"Oh Suze," Jesse says, "I want to make love to you."

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I just about jump out of my skin; what I do do is jump right off the bed.

"You want to do what?" I yell.

"I want to make love to you, Suze. Finally, we can be closer than we've ever been!" Jesse says while trying to take my hand and pull me closer to him.

Jesse gives me a look after I have pulled away. "Suze? What's wrong?"

I don't give him an answer, and he flares up. "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG?"

I jump at the tone of his voice and I stare into the eyes that I love, however his eyes are not the brown and warm and happy ones I love, but they are cold and sterile and steel blue.

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I am out the door before you can blink an eye. I don't even have my pants on. However my shirt is pulled down as far as it will go. I am running in my sandals.

Before I know it I'm breathing hard, and I hear Jesse yelling behind me.

"Suze! Come on! Stop! Please!"

I don't dare stop running. My mind is spinning. What the _hell_ has happened to Jesse?

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With the extra boost of adrenaline, I outrun Jesse, and eventually his yelling disappears into the night's silence. I get to the Coffee Clutch, which is still open, and I jump into my unlocked car. _Fuck!_ My keys are in my jeans.

I just sit there thinking and hitting the replay button in my head. Things have gone terribly wrong.

I sit there for about thirty minutes just thinking. It gets really cold in the leather seats without any pants on, and soon enough I'm shaking. I am still thinking about what had just happened, and what I should do, when someone knocks on the car window. I jump in my seat and look to my left. It's Paul and Mr. Baumann.

I gasp a little, and pull down my shirt some more; it doesn't really help though. I crank down the window and some cold air rushes in.

"Suze? What are you doing out here all alone?" Paul asks with a worried look on his face.

"Suze, are you all right?" Marc asks. "You look frightened."

I don't respond. How can I? What do I say to Paul and Marc? How can I put what I'm thinking into words?

"Susannah?" Paul asks again. "Why don't you have any pants on?" I look up at his face, and tears fill my eyes. "Oh Suze," he says soothingly. He turns to Marc. "I think I'm going to take her over to my place and get her calm."

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," Marc says to Paul. Then he adds to me, "Suze, I will see you on Monday in my class, there are a few things we need to discuss. Okay?" He turns back to Paul, "Remember, just call me if you need anything." Paul shakes his hand and Marc walks away.

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Paul helps me move over to the passenger seat. He hot wires the car and then drives me over to his house. We get inside and I slowly walk up the stairs to his room.

"Do you want to take a shower?" Paul asks me while I lay down on his bed. I am barely thinking about anything anymore. I feel dead.

"I'll take that as a no," Paul says and then goes over to his dresser and pulls out a pair of sweatpants and a clean Hanes tee. "Here, I'll leave you so you can change into something more comfortable."

Paul leaves the clothes next to me on the bed and walks out of the room. I get up slowly and take off my shirt. Then I put on the pants and tee and they smell good—almost like home.

I then lay down on the bed again and close my eyes while the tears flow down my cheeks.

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I must have fallen asleep, because when I wake up on Paul's bed the next morning and take a peek at the clock it's almost eleven.

_Jesus!_ I sit up quickly and then gasp as I feel an instant headache.

"Susannah?" Paul walks into the room. "Here, take some Advil." He says when he sees me clutching my head in agony. He hands me a glass of water and two Advil. Then he sits down on the bed with me. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Oh my gosh!" I say after swallowing the pills. "I totally put you out of your bed! I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Suze. I just slept on the couch." He nodded to the couch on the other side of the room.

"Well thank you for your hospitality, but I really should be getting back home," I say while getting up slowly.

"Wait," Paul says and clasps my forearm, the connection brings me off my unsteady feet and onto the bed again.

"What?" I ask, rather impatiently.

"Suze. What happened last night?"

"I don't—d-d-don't wa-wa-want t-to," I break off. _I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry._

"Suze, it's okay, it's me. You can talk to me." I look into Paul's eyes and I see warmth. Something that was never there before.

Instead I just flee.

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After getting home, I had a lot of explaining to do. But Paul had called my mom last night and told her the situation. What Mom wanted to know was what happened before Paul found me.

"Susie, come on, talk to me, sweetie." Mom begs me while sitting on the edge of my bed, while I curled up at the head of it. I just want her to go away. I need some space. I need to think. I need to do some homework.

"Well," Mom begins after getting nothing out of me. "I'm going to go downstairs. Come down if you need anything. Anything at all." She get up and comes over to kiss me on the forehead. I don't have the strength to push her away.

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After about twenty minutes of just sitting there I get bored and start pacing around my room. I want to kick something. Maybe I should get a ghost in here and beat it bloody (figuratively speaking of course). I haven't seen some for a while now—well, except for Father Dom.

Oh no, all of those horrible things about the Dagger flood back into my train of thought. I clutch my head. Oh God, what did I do to deserve this?

"You did plenty," says a cold voice.

I spin around in my room and face the bay window. He was back; the demon "Seirios" was back. I glared at him, ready to take whatever kind of throws he hurls at me.

He made a tutting sound. "Susannah, know, don't you remember that you can't touch me. I know you want to. It's only a natural human instinct to want to touch something they desire, something angelic. But I'm sorry, you just can't." He grimaces at me, and I feel like I'm going to throw up.

"Don't worry about that side-effect." He says. "It's only temporary." He grimaces again, this time showing all of his teeth, and I just about hurl all over my carpet. Damn demon. Wish he would just go back to Hell.

"Oh, now Susannah Simon! What a thing to say, or rather think." He started walking around my room. I stepped away from him so we were circling each other. He didn't seem to take much notice of my movements while he talked. "Now, as I understand it, your life hasn't been too peachy lately, has it? Your priest dies, your boyfriend changes personalities, and the person you thought you hated; now you seem to love and trust. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You really do need to make up your mind, Susannah. You know that it hurts to mess with other people's emotions." Seirios stops for a minute. "Oh, and you have been crying a lot too."

That is the last straw for me. "Get out of my room." I hiss.

"Oh, but I like it in your room. Granted it could use a little more heat." His eyes light up and suddenly I feel like I'm on fire. _I will not scream. I will not scream. I will not scream._ "You're no fun," Seirios says and the burning sensation stops and I crumble to the ground. I quickly get up though; I don't want to give him another advantage.

"Susannah. I thought you understood this already. I have all the advantages. I'm a demon, and you, my dear, are just a mortal. A _female_ mortal at that. And we all know how weak and stupid female mortals are. It's only to balance the strength and charisma that males have." Seirios snorts. "God-he's all about balance with you _mortals_." He spits the last word as if, as if he's jealous.

"Are you jealous?" I ask before he has time to read my mind again.

He looks at me startled for only a moment; then regains his composure. "No, my dear. But you did take Him away from us!" His eyes light up and I'm burning again. _I will not scream._ I squirm. I fight. I'm free. I fall on my feet, and glance over at Seirios who has doubled over and is breathing hard. "You little bitch!" He yells after standing up. Then with a poof he's gone, and all of my energy with him.

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I collapse on the floor, rolled up into the fetal position.

I hear a knock on the door.

"Suze? It's me, David. Can I come in for a moment?" He waits and then without an answer he opens the door slowly. I hear him take a sharp inhale and then rush over to me. "Are you okay? Do you want me to call Mom?"

I shake my head and get up off the floor. My skin feels like it's still burning a little bit. I look at David and concern covers his face. Then I look at myself in the mirror and I have what look like first degree burns all over my exposed skin.

"Jesus," I whisper under my breath.

"Are you sure you're okay? I was standing outside your door, and I heard you pacing around. And then you said something to somebody, I think it was, 'Get out of my room.' Then after a while you asked, 'Are you jealous?'

"Suze?" I look over at David, whose eyes are worried. "What's going on?"


	18. Chapter 18

Just another thank you to my beloved readers! I swear you guys keep me going! Thanks!

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 18

I get up for school, already not wanting to face the day. Although the rash marks (a nice parting gift from all of Seirios' attempts to burn me) are recuperating nicely, I still need a whole hell of a lot of makeup to cover them up. Doc said I shouldn't put any makeup on until I am healed. I just looked at him like he was crazy, and he walked away murmuring something about women.

I take a nice hot shower and then slid into my second favorite pair of jeans since Jesse has my favorite and a J. Lo silky blouse that I got online a couple of weeks ago. After sliding on my Steve Madden two-inch heels I go over and start fixing the damage. It doesn't look too bad, but bad enough for people to ask questions.

I "doll" myself up quicker then usual and am downstairs with ten minutes to spare.

"Well good morning'," Andy, I mean Dad says while flipping some pancakes in the air. "Do you want one?"

I shake my head and just grab some orange juice out of the fridge instead. I'm putting it back, when Dopey comes bounding in and takes it right out of my hand, puts it to his mouth and gulps the whole thing, right then and there.

"Okay," he says after wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand. "Lets go!"

_Oh shit_. I don't have the keys. They're still at Jesse's house.

Dopey walks out of the kitchen and over to the garage, but I am still in the kitchen clutching my glass of OJ.

"HEY SUZE!" Dopey yells after a minute. "WHERE THE HELL ARE THE KEYS?"

Hearing the yelling, Andy looks over at me with questioning eyebrows.

"I must have left them over at Jesse's," I say trying not to make too much eye contact.

"Well," Brad says while re-joining us in the kitchen. "If you left them at Jesse's, then how the hell did you drive back here?"

Andy and Brad and David all look at me expectantly.

"Hotwired it?" I say in a question sort of way. Actually, Paul hotwired it, but I wasn't about to add any extra details that would just bury me deeper. I'm not _that_ dumb.

"You did what?" Andy asks looking bewildered.

"Wow Suze! You just got some cool points! You're up to negative forty." He smirks and I have the strongest sensation to punch him in the stomach.

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I got grounded for a week, and Andy drove us to school. Of course we were late, so I didn't have anytime to see CeeCee or Adam or Paul. Not that I wanted to see Paul that is, but still it sucked to have my morning start off so crappy.

And I almost feel asleep in Pre Calc, but I caught myself just in time. Lucky for me, because if I would have fallen asleep, I would have gotten a detention. And for Andy, that's another week of grounding.

I am so happy for it to be lunch. I stride over to our table and sit down next to CeeCee, who looks over at me in shock.

"What's wrong?" I ask her while setting down my books and glancing around the table.

"W-what happened to you? I mean David told me that it was bad, but I d-didn't know."

"What the heck are you talking about Ceece?"

"Dude! Simon! You allergic to your make up or something?" Adam yells and CeeCee kicks him under the table. She looks at me apologetically.

"CeeCee, would you like to go to the girls room with me?" I ask while grabbing her hand and hauling her off before she could answer me.

"Simon, what the hell is going on?" CeeCee yells at me after we've checked all the stalls and locked the door to the bathroom.

"You know how I had you look up that information?"

"Yeah."

"Well, it was about Father Dom and his _case_," I say carefully hoping that she'll catch on.

"Yea—oh. Oh!" CeeCee says and recognition spreads over her face.

"There is just this one fly in the ointment, and well, he likes to burn things. Especially me, and I got this as a parting gift." I point to my face.

"What is this fly?" CeeCee ask slowly and carefully, bracing herself for the response.

"A demon," I say quickly.

"You're joking, right? Right?"

"No, Ceece, I wish I was." At that CeeCee's purple eyes light up and then she gasps.

"Oh my God! What was he like?" She all but squeals, which takes me back.

"CeeCee, are you okay? I mean, I didn't think that you would get that excited about a demon…but obviously I was wrong."

"Oh, sorry, it's just I didn't know you could see demons, just ghosts."

_Whoops_! "Oh, yeah…well I kinda forgot to tell you something."

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I'm listening to CeeCee yell at me for not telling her the whole story.

"God! Now I feel so stupid for having thought about some stuff! If I had known that you were a 'shifter' then I would have…I would have…"

"You would have what, Ceece?"

"I don't know," she huffs and then glares at me. "I still can't believe you didn't tell me Simon."

"I said I was sorry, CeeCee. I mean I am…I guess I just wasn't ready to face facts."

"Fine. But no more holding out? Okay?" CeeCee looked at my face.

"Okay," I said and couldn't help but let a smile creep out onto my face. "Oh, and another thing: Jesse asked me to sleep with him."

CeeCee's jaw drops. "W-w-what?"

"Jesse. Asked. Me. To. Sleep. With. Him."

"Oh. My. God." CeeCee says and then slumps against the counter while I turn around to look in the mirror to see the damage. It's not too bad, but obviously Adam was smart enough to know what the marks were.

"Simon! Why aren't you like freaking out about this?"

"Because I have already spent too much time crying over it. _And_ thinking about it. But I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"This isn't like him at all. Didn't he like turn you down countless numbers of times? Saying that he was waiting for you to get married?" CeeCee's eyes are bulging from the intensity and urgency of her own need to hear my answer.

I hadn't thought about it from that angle. How the hell did I miss that? "Um, yeah."

CeeCee stops and thinks for a minute, then asks, "Well, what else did you do when you left my house, because you left in quite a hurry?"

"I went over to Paul's to see if I could get a hold of some of his shifter information. He wasn't there, so I thought I would poke around his room on my own…I wasn't sure if I was ready or not to tell him about the Dagger. But while poking I find the same exact sketch in his bin of info. I freak out and back away from it, of course I bump right into Paul, who had been watching me for God knows how long.

"He asked me what I was doing there. I told him a version of the truth; naturally I left out the Dagger. We started…um…_talking_, then he whispered something in my ear and I freaked out because I thought only Jesse called me that. And well I ran away to the Coffee Clutch."

"What did he call you?" CeeCee asks engrossed in my story.

"_Querida_."

"_No_," CeeCee breathes.

"Yup, so obviously you can see why I freaked out."

"Apparently, I would have too?"

"While I was trying to hid myself in the Coffee Clutch, Jesse found me and we went back to his place because he claimed that he wanted to _talk_ to me. He tried to get intimate, but it felt _wrong_, so I pushed the talking concept. He didn't get far, when I interrupted him about the whole '_querida'_ thing.

"I asked him if he had been talking to Slater. He said no, and asked me why. I told him that he had said something I thought only he knew and I was just curious. Jesse asked me what it was, but then got it and said some stuff in Spanish."

"Wait," CeeCee interrupts me. "Did you tell Jesse the word…or did he just guess."

I think. "Nope, I just raised my eyebrows, I think. Why?"

"Nothing. Never mind…keep going.

"Okay," I say while rolling my eyes at CeeCee's weird question, "so after I heard him say some stuff in Spanish, none of which I understand by the way, I felt like I had the old Jesse back. So I kinda jumped him and we started making out."

"That's always fun," CeeCee said and her eyes brightened. No doubt she was thinking about her and Adam.

"And then it shifted to something more in depth. He got really turned on and forward, and Jesse's never like that. He never lets himself go when he's kissing me. I mean I _just_ got him to second base, but he was _all_ over me.

"Then Jesse asked me to have sex with him. That's when I fled for the second time that day. I didn't even have my jeans on."

CeeCee lets out an "oh dear". I smile. "But Paul found me in my car still parked in the Coffee Clutch's parking lot, along with Mr. Baumann, my new Medical Science teacher. He wants us to call him Marc. How weird is that?"

"Weird," CeeCee agrees. "But anyhoo…get on with the good stuff, Simon."

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After spilling out all my thoughts CeeCee is quiet, which is unusual for her. I can tell she's thinking though. The bell rings shortly after I'm done, and we go back to the table to get our stuff. Adam just looks at us like we're crazy and then puts his arm around CeeCee, and she glows somewhat. I can still tell that her mind is at work.

I smile, finding myself happy for her and Adam. They are so good together.

"See you later Suze," Adam says and CeeCee smiles over at me with a wave of her hand. I walk off to my next boring class.

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In Medical Science I find myself drifting, but I will myself to stay awake. I don't want to make a bad impression on Marc. I take notes slowly and cower over my desk not wanting to let anyone see my face.

Finally the bell rings after a long forty-five minutes, and I try to get the hell out of there, but Marc calls me up to my desk. Paul passes me with a familiar look in his eyes and it makes me shudder in a freaked out kinda way.

"Suze," Marc starts off. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," I say tight lipped.

"Are you sure? You look like you have a rash of some sort."

"I do, it's nothing life threatening," I hear myself say. _Yet_, I add in my mind. "I'm sorry, but I really must be going."

"Oh, yes. I just wanted to know who was this bloke you met at the morgue with Father Dom."

Oh. _Of course_ Father told him about that. "Well, I don't know if Paul told you this or not, but him and me, we're well, shifters. Unlike mediators we can shift to other planes and so forth."

"Paul didn't mention that. We just bumped into each other while I was leaving the Coffee Clutch and Paul was entering it, so we hadn't been talking for long before we spotted you," Marc says re-visiting the night.

"Okay, well we're shifters."

"And what the bloody are those?" Marc asks, his brow cocked inward with confusion.

"We can see ghosts and mediate them, but we can also go to Purgatory and time travel. My boyfriend, Jesse, Paul and I went back in time not too long ago and brought him back. He had been a ghost haunting my room, and well I got to know him, and eventually love him. And then something happened," I wasn't about to tell Marc about Paul's alternate personality that liked to manipulate other people's feelings and such. "Paul and I had to prevent Jesse from being killed, but I accidentally held onto him while I was shifting back to my time period. As you can guess that brought him back with me and when his ghost and body touched he woke up." Okay, so I'll admit that I was giving him the _Spark Notes_ version of it, but he didn't need to know all the complications and emotions that were floating around us when we went through that.

Marc just stares at me for a minute. _Maybe I said it too fast_, I think and then open my mouth to repeat things slower. But Marc beat me to the punch.

"So, this bloke in the morgue…he's a shifter too?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

I am about to respond when Brad yells at me through the doorway. "SUZE! Come on! Dad's here!"

"I have to go, but I'll see you tomorrow," I say to Marc and then leave before he can reply.


	19. Chapter 19

AN: Chapter 18 was reworked, so please go back and re-read it, if you haven't already, and then continue with this one. I am trying to make it less confusing. This chapter really clears some stuff up (!)—hopefully…

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 19

I mope around my room for the remainder of the afternoon. Being grounded _sucks_. I catch a nap and rub some more lotion on my rash. It's really improving! Sometime around six, David knocks on my door and tells me its dinnertime.

I saunter down the stairs and take a seat at the table making sure I cast my gaze down at it. I notice my mother's seat is empty. Realizing that, I look over at Andy who is placing some stuff on the table.

As if reading my mind, Andy answers my question, "Your mother is filming a late interview; she'll be back late."

"With who?" David asks and I shoot him a thankful look.

"A person at the morgue. Some person that examined Father Dominic's body."

_Dr. Jacobs_.

Andy is still talking, but I block it out and let my own thoughts wander. We say grace, but I'm only half listening. I put some food on my plate, but barely eat it. Max gets most of it. God, I love him so much.

After dinner I excuse myself quickly, making up some excuse of homework. Once in my room I pace quietly, all the while thinking.

Would Dr. Jacobs let anything silly slip? Because if he did Jesse and Paul would find out and they would be in enraged with me. Would my mother take him seriously if he did? Probably not.

The phone rings, but I can't answer it; you know being grounded and all. The ringing stops and after a moment I hear someone yell my name from downstairs. I poke my head out my door and yell down, "What?"

"It's CeeCee!" Andy yells.

"But I'm grounded!" I yell surprised.

"Well, she says it's important; school stuff. Some group project you guys have."

I smile at CeeCee's brilliance. "Thanks!"

"Do you guys have to get together or something? 'Cause if it's for school you know she's always welcome to come over here." Andy yells this up and I tell him I'll let him know.

I close my door and pick up the extension in my room. "Got it." Andy hangs up.

"Hey," CeeCee says.

"You rescued me from jumping out of my window!" I say quietly, not wanting anyone to be able to hear our conversation, because it's not about school.

"Well I'm glad. Simon, I have been thinking about this whole thing, you know the thing you told me about at lunch."

I go, "uh-huh."

"And I think I might have it figured out, but you just have to tell me if it's possible, because obviously I don't know everything about 'shifters'."

"Okay, what were you thinking?" I ask frantic to see if it's plausible or not, because I certainly don't have any ideas.

"So, Jesse and Paul have 'switched personalities' right? And this demon said something to you about how you shouldn't play with people's emotions, and Paul had said the same thing to you, right?"

"Yes, yes," I say and look out my window nervously as if someone is there.

"Well, what if Slater could do something like that. I mean, I think I remember you telling me that he had threatened to do that before you brought Jesse back, right? And so what if he isn't over you? What if he did switch his and Jesse's personalities, so Slater could have you to himself in Jesse's body? I know he would do something like that, but is he capable is the question."

"Yes, Paul is capable of doing that." I pause and think about how Jesse and Paul have been acting so strange lately. "But how did he?"

"You're the shifter, Simon!" CeeCee yells exasperated. "I've looked up some information on it."

"What did you find?"

"Some weird Latin texts…the main words I picked up were, 'protector', 'Forgotten Dagger', 'kill', 'personality', 'ritual', 'demon', and that's about it."

I sigh. I would never be able to read those; I would need Father Dom. "I don't like that sound of that. I don't like the sound of that at all."

"Me either. And I can't get any of the online translators to translate the entire document, it's pretty long." CeeCee pauses. "Do you think you could get Father Dominic to read it to you?" She asks timidly.

It's actually a good idea, but I don't know how I would get the documents. CeeCee interrupted my thoughts.

"Oh! I almost forgot. I looked up your demon's name."

"Yeah?" I ask excitedly.

"Yup, and it kinda fits his personality. 'Seirios' is the Old Greek term for burning or scorching."

I snort. It's so ironic. "Wow." _Wait, didn't Father D, like tell me that?_

"I know, right?"

"So now I know who he is. I wonder if I can call him…I mean I am a shifter after all."

"Who knows," CeeCee says.

"Paul would."

"Do you think he is a friend of the Devil's?" CeeCee asks in a whisper.

"It wouldn't surprise me," I told her.

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After some more girl talk and shifter talk, I hung up with CeeCee and started thinking about her theory, and then more I thought about it the more it seemed possible. _Why not give it a shot; it's better than anything I would have been able to come up with?_

I go downstairs to see if Andy will let me on the computer for just a moment, so I can print off that document, CeeCee promised to send me. I would just claim that she photocopied something in the library after school and I needed to see it.

"Hey," Andy said while looking up at me while I entered his office. "Does CeeCee need to come over?"

"No," I say, "but she did send me an e-mail containing a source I need."

"Say no more," Andy said and then granted me ten minutes to get online and print it out.

Once I finished (it had been ten pages!), I go back downstairs to tell him that I am off. He smiles at me and tells me how happy he is that I'm doing some homework. I smile and make my excuses to get out of there. Now that I have the document I need Father Dom.

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Up in my room again I pace thinking if I should do it tonight or not. I wonder if I should wait until I'm ungrounded. _Should I call Paul or Jesse?_

_No, I'm going to do it_. I call Father Dominic, and a moment later he materializes in front of me.

"Susannah," he says somberly to me.

I decided to cut right to the chase. There's no need for pleasantries. "Father, I think I have some clues. But I need your help in reading some Latin to me."

"What is it?" Father D. asks and I show him the ten pages I printed out. It's all cursively Latin too, I know I can't read it, so I expect him to have a hard time figuring it out too. Of course, I was wrong.

Father is speaking Latin at a mile a minute, and I can't keep up, much less understand any of it. After a couple of sentences, I speak up. "Wait a second Father! I need you to read it to me in English. I need to know what this says, because it will help me realize why you were killed."

With that Father Dominic looks up at me in surprise. "You didn't think I had forgotten about you, did you?" I ask him while smiling.

There are tears in his eyes and he smiles a sad smile back. "Thank you, Susannah," he says quietly and I lean over and give him a hug. When I lean away, he looks uncomfortable but grateful. Then he starts translating the Latin for me. He's pretty fast at it too.

"If you wish to switch your personality with another, there are careful guidelines you must follow. First, your prey has a protector—everyone does—this 'protector' is someone you must get rid of for the ritual to go smoothly. If you fail, then consequences will take affect after the full moon."

The full moon…that was tomorrow night. _Hmmm, what if Paul did something wrong, for once in his life?_ It was a big leap, but I was willing to gamble on it.

"Second, to get rid of this so-called protector, you need the Forgotten Dagger. It can only be acquired through a high-ranking demon, who will 'get rid of' the protector for you. The protector must not only be gotten rid of, but be forgotten. This is where the Dagger comes in. It will kill your prey and make it so that they never even existed, even to God. The only one who remembers them is the person who slays them."

That was in the thing that CeeCee looked up on Saturday!

"Third, after ridding yourself of the protector, you can move onto your prey. You must get him into the same room as you and bind him with nine feet of hemp rope. After you have done this, you will light the blood-red colored candles laid out in the shape of a pentagon and say the words below."

Father says some stuff in Latin that I have a hard time figuring out. When he is done, he looks at me.

"What did it say?" I ask.

"Nothing of importance. You had to say it in Latin anyway, but there aren't any clues in that."

"Okay. So what do you do next?"

"After incanting the verses in Latin, you must prick the palm of you and your prey so that you can switch the blood that runs through your body. This must be done with the Forgotten Dagger. After this is done, you will say the verse below to render him unconscious. Then the task is done and when you and him wake up your personalities will have been switched." Father D. shivers as he reads the unconscious verse. It has to be bad. _Damn_.

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We are quiet for a couple of minutes, and then I hear someone stomping up the stairs and knock on my door.

"Suze!" It's Jake. What is he doing here?

I go over and open up the door. I smile up at him and am in the middle of saying, "Hi" when he grabs my arm and says, "Come on."

I throw Father Dom a look over my shoulder; he gets up and follows us. "Slee-, I mean Jake, what are you doing? Where are you taking me?"

"I asked Dad, and he said that you and I could go to the library for your project." He looks down at me, and I just know that Jesse has something to do with this.

"Okay," I say casually, but inside I'm shaking. _Oh my God! I don't know if I'm ready to face Jesse, or should I say Paul after what I just found out. And the whole sex thing…_I shudder, and then I feel Father Dom place his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry," he says to me. "I'll be there the whole time."


	20. Chapter 20

AN: As you may have noticed, I have re-worked my previous chapters. Nothing new and exciting, just editing and compacting.

**Disclaimer:** All of the original and familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot and her series The Mediator, but the plot and new faces are property of me.

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Chapter 20

Jake was being assertively nice to me on the ride over to the "library". I made sure I kept the whole freaking out on the down low and didn't act out of the norm.

"So how's school goin'?" Sleepy asked.

"Eh," I answered cryptically.

"And Jesse?"

I glanced over at him and tried to hide my nervousness. I knew Jake couldn't help that he was a) being overpowered by Paul who's inside Jesse's body or b) dumb enough to trust him. At least Father Dom would be there for me. He could stop Paul if he decided to hurt me. I mean, I can take care of myself, but as long as Paul is involved I really don't feel like I'm strong enough.

"Fine," I say finally, and then we pull into the library at the community college.

"So how is what's-her-name?"

"Victoria? I had to break up with her, I mean she was like so shallow." Jake says with disgust.

"And why did you ask her out?" I ask him while we get out of the car and walk up to the library.

"Because she was hot." Jake says and looks over at me like I have two heads. _As if that wasn't obvious_, I think

I snort at him and he just laughs at himself. "So what do you have to look up here?" I ask him as he holds the door open for me.

"Nothing."

"So why did you offer to take me? I'm supposed to be grounded you know."

Jake just looks at me and I look at him, and then someone grabs my shoulder.

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"Hello Suze," Jesse says…_well his body says_, I think, _because Jesse always calls me Susannah._

I shoot Jake a dirty look over my shoulder. "What do you want, Jesse?" I ask.

"We need to talk."

"That's what you said Saturday night, and we both know where that went. And personally I don't feel like doing _that_ in a public library." I turn around and Jake's eyes are big and surprised. "I want to go home," I say to him.

Jakes looks over at Jesse, and he grabs my shoulder again, this time harder. "We need to talk." My eyes are pleading with Jake, but he just talks over me as if I'm a little kid.

"I'll just be poking around. Come and find me when you're done." He walks off and frantically I look around for Father Dom. He said he would be by me. Well maybe he thought that it would be smarter not to let the Jesse Wannabe see him.

When Jake is gone, Jesse takes my hand and leads me out of the building. I follow him regretfully, but then when we get to his car I put my foot down. "No, Jesse! I'm staying here. Jake will drive me home. I'll talk to you, but I will not allow you to drive me home. I'm already grounded."

"Fine," he says and puts his keys back in his pocket, then he walks us over to one of the benched flooded under a street lamp.

"So," I say through clenched teeth.

"So. I wanted you to know that I got carried away last night. I never meant—I mean I would never—I didn't want to sleep with you."

"What?" I ask enraged.

"I mean, I want to, but I don't want to push you," Jesse Wannabe says. _Well at least he's trying to act like Jesse would, but remember Simon—he's still the enemy._

"Thank you," I say and then kiss him on the cheek. He looks into me and suddenly I'm looking into Jesse. Oh, how I have missed his deep brown pools that make me melt!

He leans closer to me and his eyes dilate and change to a steel blue.

"What else did you want to say to me Jesse, since you worked so hard to get me out here tonight?"

"I wanted to warn you against something. Or should I say someone."

"Who is it, Jesse?" I ask slightly annoyed.

"I don't want you hanging around Slater anymore. He is up to something I don't like it."

"Do you know what it is?" I ask him.

"No, but nonetheless, it won't be good."

"Whatever, Jesse. Just because you don't trust him doesn't mean he hasn't changed for the better. I mean we all have changed since last winter. Even you."

Wannabe's eyes narrow at that last comment. "Me?" He asks.

"Yes you."

"How?"

"Well for one, you never would have tried to have sex with me!"

"Suze!" He whines, "You are so irresistible!"

I pause for a moment at this, but then remember what Father Dom and I had just been reading.

"Oh please," I say while scooting away from Wannabe on the bench.

Apparently I strike a nerve and suddenly, Wannabe is clutching my wrist and hissing at me.

"Promise me you won't be with Paul alone, ever again! He's bad news, and I won't have him hurt you."

"He already has," I say and this just provokes him.

"PROMISE!" Wannabe yells while cutting off the circulation to my arm.

"NO!" I yell back at him and almost spit on his face, but like I said before I don't want to be alone with Paul, at least not when he's angry. I pull my hand away from his death grip, and before I know it I feel a blow across my cheek.

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He hit me. Jesse's never hit me before. I am holding my cheek in one hand while the other clings to the arm of the bench. I am trying not to fall over from shock.

I feel like I have been violated in some way. I feel like my cheek is on fire. I feel as if I have lost something; I am broken into pieces. I feel as if my heart has just broken.

_How did things turn out this way?_ I ask myself, and then the tears well up in my eyes.

"Oh, don't cry Suze," Jesse Wannabe says to me while putting his hand high up on my thigh.

"Don't touch me," I spit and then get up off the seat. He grabs my upper arm, and before I know it I'm face down on the ground, both of my arms behind my back.

"You will love me!" He says. "No matter what it takes, no matter what I have to do, I will make you love me."

I shiver, not only because the ground is cold, but also because I know Paul will do anything to get what he wants. But the question is: _why would he want me?_

Wannabe picks me up again and places me on the bench, still clasping my wrists in one of his big hands. Hands that have never been rough with me. Jesse's hands were always soft and gentle, no matter how bad I irritated him.

I am about to try and break free and make a run for it, when Father Dom materializes in front of us.

"Hello, Father Dominic," Wannabe says snippily. "We'll hopefully have you outta here soon." He grimaces up at Father Dom, and then stands when Father flinches at his words. "I think you can leave now if you want to, Suze and I are done here."

I glance over at him and he releases my hands. I run over to Father D's side.

"Jesse, I think you and I need to have a talk," Father Dom says slowly and carefully.

"I'm done talking for tonight Papa D, but when I feel in the mood, I'll be sure to _call_ you." Wannabe looks over at him, and I can see the fire in his eyes.

I clench my hands together to insure that I don't snap and break his nose—although I wouldn't mind it, I think Jesse would when he got back into his body. Wannabe Jesse just looks at the both of us, smirks and then walks away.

Once he is gone from our sight, I look at Father Dom. "Why didn't you like beat him up or something with your mid powers?" I ask hysterically.

"Susannah, you know I could never harm one of my students."

"We aren't your students anymore!" I yell and then immediately want to take it back for all the pain it causes him. I can see the tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I say to him and try to put a hand on his shoulder, but Sleepy comes up and looks at me quizzically. I look right back at him. "I thought there was a bug there."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Are you and Jesse done?"

"Yes," I say quietly, and then throw Father Dom a concerned look, but he is gone.


	21. A Note To My Readers

If you hadn't noticed already, I have redone my story...not the plot or anything, just the chapters. I just kinda compacted and edited them. Chapter 20 is new though! Enjoy!

I would like to thank everyone who has been religiously reading my story, e.g. earudien, JaDe-ViPeR08, Leash, Levi Jennings, LivedAngel, mean-girl123, missing-angel, Moonygirl13, Querida1607, Rhys Enigma, Venus-on-the-Run, wildace keladry2005. And all the people who just pop in! You guys make my writing come alive...(I know that sounds so sappy—but it's true).---This is from my previous note, but I wanted to keep it posted, because, well, you guys still rock!---

Love,

**Sarah**


	22. Chapter 21

AN: A little short and overdue, but I think I make up for it with my fluff story…

Enjoy and Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day for those of you in the US!

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Chapter 21

Jake drives me home and tries to strike up a conversation, but I am reluctant and swarmed in my own thoughts. I just stare out the window and pace around my mind.

I just know that Paul switched his personality with Jesse's, but something has gone wrong. And I have a hunch that I have to fix it before tomorrow night—the full moon. Sleepy is pulling up into the driveway when something hits me. I get out of the car quickly, throwing a thank you over my shoulder and run into the house.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God," I think while I bound up the steps and into my room. I begin pacing once I have my door shut and locked, but then what had struck me in the car vanishes and I curse myself.

Paul had messed up, but what? What had he messed up? Maybe he enchanted something wrong. Or maybe…maybe.

I flop down on my bed and start biting my fingernails. _God! Maybe I should just go over to Paul's; I mean Jesse in Paul's body's house and see what he thinks about the whole situation. _

But he probably doesn't even know if he's Jesse or Paul. Jesse in Paul's body probably just thinks that he's Paul and that we're friends. But then why does Jesse Wannabe act like he knows that he's Paul?

I am stumped and I roll over on my stomach and look down at my floor trying to think about something else for a while.

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I am wondering Shadowland and trying to find the hallway with all the doors so I can maybe open one and fall through it. I want to just give up and surrender so badly. I am in pain without my Jesse.

I keep on walking and shiver when I look down and realize I am in my pajamas. _Hm, I wonder why I didn't change beforehand?_ I spot someone in the distance and call out to him or her before I think better of it. Their head turns in my direction, and I realize that there is something familiar about that profile.

The figure starts walking towards me and I towards it. Finally, he gets close enough so I can see him and I gasp. It is Jesse. I turn to make a run for it, but then a soft hand touches my forearm and I spin around to face him.

"Susannah?" Jesse whispers. I look into his eyes and realize that it is him, Jesse, _my Jesse_. I smile up at him; I can't help it. My heart begins racing and suddenly I want to kiss him badly, really badly

"Jesse?" I ask him quietly getting lost in his eyes.

"Wait! What? Jesse? Suze, it's me Paul. I'm not Jesse."

It suddenly dawns on me. This is Jesse stuck in Paul's body. _Oh my God._

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It feels like Jesse, my heart tells me it is Jesse, but he is saying that he is Paul.

"Je-I mean Paul, what are you doing here?" I ask him while he removes his hand from my arm.

It is weird calling Jesse _Paul_. "I needed to get away for a while. I was just ambling about."

"Just ambling…" I echo. _What was _I_ doing here?_

Jesse, I mean Paul, looks down at me with questioning eyes. I can't help but melt at the sight of his dark pools. God, they make me feel at home.

"What are you doing here, Suze?" Jesse/Paul asks me.

I just look at him…_how does he always know what I am thinking?_ "Just ambling…" I say coyly while he smiles down at me.

"Oh really?" He asks me with an idiotic grin on his face.

"Yes," I say and can feel myself starting to relax.

Jess/Paul moves forward suddenly serious, and I don't step back. "Susannah," he says. "I think something is wrong."

I just stare up at him, and then I awake face down in my pillow with a headache. I lie there for a minute or two and then my alarm blares. I raise my arm to shut it off and then roll over.

Ten minutes later my alarm screams again and this time I figure it's best to face the world. I get up, pop an Advil, and jump into the shower. After shoving my legs into some jeans and slipping on a peasant top, I slide on some platform sandals.

I walk out of my room just as Dopey is yelling for me. Slinging my backpack over my shoulder I walk down the stairs and into the garage.

Dopey sneers over at me while I climb into the front seat. "What's wrong with your face?" I ask him while checking my hair in the mirror. Doc snorts from the backseat and Dopey throws a menacing glance over at him; this shuts Doc up.

"What's wrong with yours?" He asks, trying to sound cool.

"That was just sad, Brad. Maybe you should work on your comebacks," I say and then buckle up. Brad huffs and then starts up the car.

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I breeze through the day without any complications, but when it comes to Medical Science, I find myself looking for Paul, or rather Jesse/Paul.

He sits down in a seat with ease and takes out his book. I saunter in and sit down next to him. Jesse/Paul looks over at me questioningly.

"Have good dreams?" I ask him.

"You should know," Jesse/ Paul retorts nicely.

I just smile and then take out my own book. Marc rambles on and makes us take notes. I find my mind feeling bloated and tired. At one point I look out of the window and see the faint outline of the moon and I gasp. _Tonight is the night. Oh God!_

I ask to go to the bathroom, and Jesse/Paul just looks up at me weird when I raise my eyebrows at him. Once outside of the classroom, I walk down the hall to a nook and wait for Jesse/Paul to follow.

I hear the door close and then footsteps coming closer to me. Jesse/ Paul appears and I pull him to me. He accidentally steps on my foot and apologizes.

"We should go some place else," I say quietly and then lead him to the janitor's closet.

Once inside, we just look at each other for a moment. "What is this all about?" Jesse/Paul asks me more with his eyes, which I notice are brown pools, then his words.

"Like you said last night, or rather this morning in Shadowland, I think something is wrong too. What made you think that something was wrong?" I ask him.

"Well, it's just—I don't know, when I look at myself I feel like I'm someone else. Like I have lived a different life. And I know this is completely inappropriate, but I feel as if I had once had you as mine. I feel as if we had been together once, in the past." I look up at him and still see the brown pools. "Do you know what I'm saying?" He asks and I nod.

Then after a moment, I say, "Kiss me."

Jesse/Paul's eyes widen and he leans down instinctively, but then stops when his breath is teasing my lips. "What is this going to prove?"

"Just wait," I whisper, and his lips crash down onto mine, and I gasp.

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"Well," Jesse/Paul says when we finally break away from our kiss. I giggle like a little schoolgirl and then smile up at him infatuated in my own thoughts.

"So? Anything?" I ask him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I start, and then think, _what _do_ I mean?_ "Is there any more of those _feelings_?"

"I don't know. All I know is that I love kissing you, and…" he trails off.

"And…what?"

"And I feel like there was once love in those kisses."

"Oh Jesse," I whisper and throw my arms around his neck.

He grips me tightly. "_Querida_?" I lean away from him with tears in my eyes. "Is that you?"

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AN: Sorry to leave you hangin' there, but I couldn't resist! 


	23. Chapter 22

AN: I know this chapter is long over due, but this week was final week, and I was freaking out. So hopefully this will make up for it…

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Chapter 22

"What am I doing in Paul's body?" Jesse asks me furiously while pushing me away from him after a moment of the wonderful and sinful connection.

"I don't know," I whine, "I have been racking my mind, and I can't figure anything out."

Jesse sighs and then takes a strand of my hair in his fingers and twirls it around. "Oh, _querida_, it feels as if I have been lost and am only now coming back to you." I smile at this and then kiss him lightly on his lips.

"We really should get back," I say regretfully.

"Yes, we should."

I leave first and walk into the class. A minute later, Jesse in Paul's body walks in and takes a seat next to me. I write him a note.

Do you remember anything? Did you go somewhere with Paul before you remember any of this happening?

Jesse's eyebrows cock in and he writes a response.

_I don't know, _Querida_. I think I might have possibly been drugged or under some kind of influence—Slater's doing of course._

Well, I got CeeCee on the case, and she supplied some good stuff. I have these documents at my house, all in Latin, and I got Father Dom to read them to me, and it explains the process of switching personalities and killing the protector and all this stuff…

_Susannah, is there any way I can see these before tonight?_

**Yeah, you can give me a ride home. No! Crap, you can't. I'm grounded.**

_What did you do this time?_

**Hey! I did nothing, Paul in your body tried to—**

I stopped right there. Jesse probably wouldn't like what Paul had tried to do.

_He tried to do what?_

**Nothing. But it wasn't my fault.**

Susannah 

**Oh, fine, he tried to sleep with me.**

Does that mean what I think it means? 

**Well, that depends on what you think it means.**

_Just tell me._

**He tried to get me to have sex with him in your body.**

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Jesse maintains his rage under the radar until the end of class, but once the bell rings, he hauls me out of the room and to the parking lot.

"Brad," he yells at Dopey, who turns to him and smiles is _dopey_ smile.

"Yo, Slater! What's happenin'?"

"I need to borrow, Sus-Suze. I promise to return her before dinner commences."

"Wow—big words—okay whatever," Brad smiles at Slater, but shoots daggers at me. "If you get caught, Simon, it's your own damn fault."

"Whatever," I say and then Jesse hauls me off to Paul's black Beemer, and before I know it we are flying out of the parking lot faster than you can say "Hail Mary".

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Jesse is driving like a maniac, and I am praying for my life. Okay, so I shouldn't have told him about Wannabe Jesse trying to sleep with me…but what else was I gonna say to him in that note? Paul in your body tried to spill water down my shirt or something? I mean I know Jesse isn't up to date with everything, but he's not stupid.

"Susannah," Jesse says while pulling over into a cliff-side park. I look over at him, but I don't say anything. "What happened?"

"Nothing!" I say exasperatedly.

"He slept with you! What did you mean by that?"

Okay, so maybe he's a little out of sorts today. "Paul in your body _tried_ to sleep with me."

"And by sleep with you, you mean—"

"—Have sex with me." I sigh and then tug on the bottom of my shirt suddenly very uncomfortable. I don't want to talk about sex with Jesse.

"WHAT?" Jesse bursts out.

I look over at him startled.

"HE TRIED TO DO WHAT?" Jesse yells.

I shrink back, "Jesse."

"Susannah, please tell me you didn't. Please."

"I didn't! Of course I didn't! I mean, _jeez_, Jesse, what do you think I am a slag? I don't go around sleeping with people, even if they do look like you. I knew something was wrong that night. I know that you don't want to sleep with me." I sigh again and then shift in my seat.

"Is that what you think?" Jesse asks while placing his big, yet gentle, hand on my forearm.

"What else am I supposed to think, Jesse?" I spit out at him.

He sighs and drags a hand through his hair.

"Jesse, let's just go back to my place, and I'll let you take a look at those documents CeeCee found for me."

Jesse begins to say something, but I cut him off with, "Just take me home, Jesse." Reluctantly Jesse puts the car into reverse and pulls out of the park. We ride home in silence.

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I jump out of the car, before Jesse can even put the car in park. I run up into my house with my book bag slung over my shoulder.

"And where have you been?" Andy asks me when I step into the kitchen.

"Paul and I have a project to work on and we had to pick up some supplies. I told Brad, didn't he tell you?"

"No, he didn't. But you two need to work on a project? Wonderful! He can stay for dinner." Andy goes over to the cabinet and pulls out another plate.

"Thanks," I say and head out into the living room to see Jesse in Paul's body standing there looking lost.

"Let's go upstairs," I say and then bypass him and saunter up the stairs.

"Sus-Suze," Jesse says and I shiver. Anything other than Susannah or _querida_ just sounds wrong on his lips.

We get into my room and I shut my door. "What?"

"Susannah, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I say and flop myself down onto my bed.

"_Querida_, I know something's bothering you. Will you please tell me what it is?"

"No," I say stubbornly then get up and retrieve the documents from my vanity. I hand them to him. He glances over them and drags a hand through his hair again.

"This is bad."

"Really?" I say sarcastically.

"Yes." Jesse sits down on the window seat, and I have a flashback of just some random moment where Jesse, the ghost Jesse, is sitting there stroking his cat. I shake my head and just see Paul. Urgh. _Why does something weird like this always happen to me?_

Jesse in Paul's body looks up at me after scanning all of the pages, and I look into his deep, brown eyes. It really is him. "Susannah…"

"Yes?" I say shortly.

"Paul has messed up."

"I know that! It's obvious that you knowing who you really are isn't supposed to happen!" I huff and lie back on my bed.

"But Susannah, he got the wrong person," Jesse says softly.

"What?" I ask sitting up. "What are you talking about? He got you and him to switch personalities. What other person are you talking about?"

"Paul made the demon kill the wrong protector."


	24. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: All of the familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot, but I own all the new ones and the plot.

Chapter 23

Now it's my turn to blow up. "WHAT? HOW THE HELL DID HE DO THAT?"

Jesse in Paul's body sighs and then comes over and sits down in the bed with me. "Susannah, Paul had to kill my protector in order to switch my personality with his, right?" I nod my head. "And so he thought it was Father Dominic, but my protector isn't Father Dominic."

"Well if it's not Father D. then who the hell is it?" I ask him my eyebrows arched on my forehead.

"_Querida_…" Jesse says and pulls his hand through Paul's hair again. "It's you."

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Needless to say I passed out cold. I wake up to the sound of Jesse and Father Dominic talking quietly. Father Dom pats Jesse in Paul's body on the shoulder and then materializes. Jesse's warm, brown eyes look over at me, and I hear Andy call for dinner.

I get up and feel my head start to spin. _Shit_.

Jesse sees me fumble and rushes over to me. "_Querida_, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, it's just."

"Just what?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I conversed with Father Dominic on the subject and he agrees with me. You are my protector and I am yours."

I sigh and amble over to my vanity to pull out some Advil. It would be romantic if we were in a different situation. Jesse gets me a glass of water from the bathroom. "But are you sure?" I ask him after swallowing the pills, wishing that they would make them work faster.

"DINNER!" Andy yells again and Jesse and I walk downstairs.

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Dinner is a nightmare. Brad keeps on bringing up the question of why I am hanging out with Paul when I have Jesse as my boyfriend. Of course Jesse (in Paul's body), Andy, and I keep on telling him that we are working on a project, but Brad doesn't believe us. I am keeping count how many times I want to kill him over the course of one meal.

"What is this project in?" Andy asks Jesse (in Paul's body).

"Chemistry," he says immediately, like he's already gotten our alibi down pat.

"Really?" David pipes up and Brad throws in that "shut-up-now, twerp" look.

David blushes, but Jesse goes on and tells him all this stuff about how we have to write a lab report on this lab that we did in class. After listening to Jesse ramble on about stuff we haven't even gotten to in Chemistry for a couple of minutes, I get up and begin to clear the table. Jesse immediately gets up and begins to help me.

Brad just looks at him like he's crazy, and then says, "Yo, Slater! Don't worry about it my man, Suze gots this."

Jesse looks over at him startled and I nod to him. "It's okay, Paul. I can manage the dishes by myself. But thank you anyways." I give him a smile. Jesse looks me in the eyes and sees that I want him to sit down. Paul would never offer to help. I try to remind him with my eyes that he has to stay in character.

I walk off with my arms full of dishes and I hear the guys strike up a conversation about sports. I shake my head and then grunt at the weight. I carefully place the dishes in the sink and let the hot water run for a minute. Glancing around the kitchen I see a place setting out on the bar. Mom hasn't been home for dinner for about three days now and I'm starting to get worried. Although I see her every night when she comes home, it's still a little unnerving that she is gone when all this crap is going on in my life. I mean, for all I know Paul could have her locked up, or a demon could be threatening her, or even a ghost.

"Father Dom?" I ask suddenly nervous about my mother's absence. After a second of calling his name, Father Dom shows up standing in front of me.

"Yes Susannah? You needed me?"

"Hey, I was wondering if you could possibly find my mom and just look after her until she got home. She hasn't been home for dinner the past couple days, and I guess I'm just a little concerned."

"Of course, Susannah," Father Dom says and then smiles a warm smile at me. I thank him and he materializes right at Jesse walks in.

"So?" He starts with raised eyebrows.

"So what?"

"Can I help you now?"

"I guess so," I fake a frustrated sigh and smile at him. It feels good to be with him, my Jesse, again.

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We return up to my room when we are done with the dishes and I sit on the bed while Jesse sits on the window seat. I pull out my history book and try to get some homework done, but obviously I'm distracted by Jesse only a couple of feet away from me.

"You know I miss this view," he says softly and I look up from my history book to see him looking at me.

"I like the view in the morning the best," I say totally not getting Jesse's undertone.

"Well the view right now is pretty beautiful. But then again it always is." I smile up at him totally oblivious.

I return to my reading and after a couple of minutes I hear Jesse get up and then feel him sit down on the bed beside me.

"Susannah?" he asks and I lift my head up to look him in the eyes.

"Yeah?" I ask him with a smile on my lips. I haven't been this close since this afternoon and I really am interested in kissing those sweet lips again. I sit up and scoot closer to Jesse. I look at him while he blushes a little; I know on the outside it looks like Paul, but in the inside I just know that it is Jesse. You can't fake his personality, his _kindness_, his _eyes_. It just cannot be done.

Jesse leans in and nuzzles my neck. I can feel the heat of his breath on my neck and I shiver at the thought. God, it feels so good to be connecting with Jesse again.

"Oh _querida_," Jesse says while pulling me into a hug. "I'm so sorry for all that has happened. I never meant for you to—"

I cut him off gently. "Jesse, you can't protect me all the time. It's not your fault. I know you would never do anything to hurt me knowingly. You are not like that."

"But Susannah, I don't know how this could have happened."

"Oh I do, it's Paul and his stupid ego that got us into this mess. He thinks that I should be with him. He wants me, Jesse. He always has. I know I should be flattered on some level, but I'm not. It just makes me sick that he only wants me because he can't have me. If I were his he would use me and then abuse me."

At this I feel Jesse's muscles tighten. Just thinking about Paul touching me makes him slip into rage. I kiss him softly on the neck and then look at his face. It has Paul's strong jaw line and hollow-ish cheeks, but his eyes are all Jesse. God I love him so much.

Jesse leans into me and clutches me tighter with his hands as if he'll never let me go. I let myself be consumed by his smell, touch, and heat. Everything about him makes me short circuit. Jesse's lips are _this_ close to mine, when the phone rings.

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I pull apart from Jesse and get up. It might be CeeCee or even my mother. I rush over to get it and say, "Hello?"

I'm greeted by a cold voice.

"Susannah, it's me, Jesse."

"Oh hi," I say slowly while giving Jesse, whose still on my bed, the eyebrows.

"I want to talk to you, but I can't do it over the phone. Will you meet me in Shadowland tonight?"

I think about it. _Wait? When Jesse in Paul's body shifted to Shadowland, I could see Jesse's body, not Paul's. So did that mean that Jesse Wannabe couldn't shift into Shadowland, because he was in Jesse's body, and Jesse isn't a shifter?_

JW interrupted my thoughts on the matter. "Susannah?"

"Oh, sorry, um, why don't we meet at the Mission. M'kay?"

I hear JW curse softly, but then say, "Okay, midnight."

"See you then," I sing and then hang up the phone.

"_Querida_? Was that Slater?"

"Yes, Slater who is residing in your body." I say and flop down on the bed; I lie down and Jesse follows suit.

"So?"

"Oh, yeah," I say and slap my head. "Sorry. He wants to talk to me in person."

"Do you think that's smart Susannah?"

"I don't know. All I know is that tonight is the full moon and that is when the 'procedure' is supposed to correct itself if it's not done right. And since you know that you are Jesse but in Paul's body, then I'm guessing Paul fucked up somewhere along the line." I see Jesse cringe at my choice in wording. "Sorry," I mumble while blowing a strand of my chestnut hair out of my face. It doesn't move and I keep on blowing. Finally, Jesse lifts his hand to my face and gently brushes it away. "Thanks."

Jesse doesn't say anything, but moves his fingers down to my lips and traces them gently. "So where and when are you meeting him?"

"Mission, midnight," I respond, entranced with Jesse's fingertips on my lips. God, he makes me hot just doing something so simple.

Jesse leans over and brushes his lips against mine in a soft kiss. "I'm going with you," he says after breaking the short, but wonderful, connection.

I sigh. "Jesse, are you sure that's a good idea? I mean if Paul sees you or finds you, he won't be happy and then, well we all know what happens when Paul doesn't have his way."

"Yes, but I'm not going to allow him to have the chance to be with you unsupervised. You never know what he has up his sleeve."

"But Jesse," I complain.

"No buts Susannah," Jesse says while putting a finger to my lips to silence me. His other hand is propping himself up on his side. His finger slides from my lips to my neck. It slips onto my shoulder and I shiver. It feels so good, and it's been so long it seems that Jesse has been this close to me.

"Plus you haven't seen me when I don't have _my_ way?"

I laugh and then am silenced with Jesse's lips on mine again, but this time the kiss has more promise to it.

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AN: Looking back, I know this might seem as a filler chapter in the middle, but well okay it kinda is, but I had to add a bit of fluff in, because well I've been deprived. : )

The next one will be out soon, hopefully.


	25. Chapter 24

AN: Hey sorry about the last chapter guys, I know it was kind of confusing, but about the whole Paul asking to meet in Shadowland when he can't…well Paul, being the moron that is he, hasn't figured it out yet that he can't go there, because he's in Jesse's body. But only your soul can appear in Shadowland, but you body is like the "vehicle" to get you there, and you have to be in the right "vehicle" and since Paul is in Jesse's body, and Jesse isn't a shifter, then he can't shift into Shadowland. I know it's a little weird and confusing, but that's how it has to be for this story to work.

Sorry about the above. If I have lost you, tell me and I'll try to sort it out for you a little bit better.

Here's the next way overdue chapter. Sorry it took so long you guys!

Disclaimer: All of the familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot, but I own all the new ones and the plot.

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Jesse in Paul's body had to leave a little while after Paul in Jesse's body had called me. But at about eleven thirty, I heard the little knock on my window and jumped up all ready to go.

I smile at him while I cross over my room and approach the bay window. Then I hear the door squeak open. _SHIT!_ Jesse in Paul's body ducks out of sight and I spin around. It is Doc.

"Suze?" Doc asks me. "What's Paul doing here this late at night? What about Jesse?"

Instead of blowing up at him, I quickly give him the run down. "PaulswitchedhisandJesse'spersonalities,andnowwehavetogoandmeethim,becausetonightisthenightwhereeverythinggoesbacktothewayitwas."

Doc just nods his head as if he understands, but I know that he doesn't since I talked extra fast, wanting to get outta here so I could be with Jesse some more and then go kick Paul's ass. "Oh, well I was just wondering, because usually it's Jesse who knocks on your window, and then I looked out and saw Paul and I was concerned."

"Thanks for your concern David, but I'm okay." I stop and then add with a look over my shoulder towards the window, "It's really Jesse."

"Oh, okay. Well don't stay out too late." Doc smiles at me and then leaves as quietly as he came in.

I quickly and silently bound over to the window and throw it open, startling Jesse, who is clinging on for dear life. "I'm sorry," I say and bend down to offer him my hand, but he just does it himself and is soon sitting on the seat by my window, while I kneel on it.

"Did he see me?" Jesse asks quietly.

"Yeah, but he only came in because he thought you were actually Paul. But I told him the minimal information, so he knows that you are really Jesse. He was just concerned."

"Well that's nice of him," Jesse says and then places his hand on mine and brings it up to his mouth. "And how are you tonight?" He asks softly.

"Fine," I say while blushing as his lips graze my palm. I shiver from the connection, but it's a good shiver.

"Are you cold, _querida_?" Jesse asks while letting go of my hand and beginning to take off his coat.

"No, Jesse, I'm fine. Let's just go."

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We arrive at the dark Mission ten till midnight and I turn to Jesse in Paul's body.

"_Querida_, are you sure you want to go in there alone?"

"Yes," I sigh exasperated of the subject. "Jesse, I'm going in there alone. Paul has to know that we're alone. I need some information from him. You can follow me in after a minute or two."

Jesse takes my hand and kisses the top of it and then releases me. But before I can go, he says, "You know I don't like this, right?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Be safe, Susannah." I throw a smile back over my shoulder and then get out and quietly shut the door.

While walking up to the Mission I get a little chilly and clutch my thin sweater around me. I finally slip in and walk down the abandoned dark halls. I don't find it so creepy, but then I hear a sound behind me. I freeze and then I feel hands on my lips to keep me from screaming.

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His hands burn my flesh where he is touching me and I begin to squirm.

He began to make a tutting sound. "What did I tell you Susannah?" Seirios asks me.

I squirm harder and then Seirios, as if feeling sorry for me, releases me and I stumble away from him.

"Don't. Ever. Touch. Me. Again." I spit. Seirios tutts again.

"Susannah, Susannah, Susannah."

"What?" I ask my eyebrows furrowed in anger.

"Tonight is the night. Tonight everything will be final."

"What?" I ask again starting to feel some fear sink into my body.

Then he smiles and I feel the heat begin to ignite my skin. Clenching my eyes together, I chant, _I won't give him the satisfaction. I won't. I won't._

Suddenly I open my eyes and the pain is going. Seirios stumbles back and doubles over. I smile in spite of myself. He lifts his head up and I can see his eyes twitching while he stares over at me. I put a hand on my hip and stare back.

After a moment, I say, "Leave me the hell alone."

Seirios' nose flares and then he spits, "You will find your just punishment." Then, _poof_, and he's gone. I release my breath, which I didn't know I had been holding.

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"Suze?" I hear Paul's voice ask in a hard voice, and I can just feel that it's Wannabe Jesse, not my Jesse.

I turn around and pretend I'm lost. "It's so hard to find my way in the dark. Why aren't the flood lights on?"

JW shrugs his shoulders and I look past him for a moment. I thought I had seen Jesse in Paul's body hiding behind the corner; I tear my gaze away quickly and look back at JW.

"Suze. I'm—I'm sorry about the other night."

"Yeah, well you should be," I say snippily.

JW sighs softy. _He's really playing it up, isn't he? _ I ask myself and shake my head mentally. "I know, but sometimes its hard not to be jealous of you and Slater's relationship, because you seem to have forgiven him and I haven't." _You gotta give him credit for trying._

_NO!_

"Jesse," I say slowly and Paul in Jesse's body looks at me expectantly. "Can we go into the Mission, I'm kinda cold."

"Of course," he says and then wraps his arm around my shoulders and I try not to shudder at the embrace, but rather remember that Jesse, the real Jesse was watching over me. After all he was my protector, isn't he?

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Once we were inside the Mission I took a seat in one of the back front pews, so that real Jesse could slip in behind us and hide.

"Suze, can we make up?"

"What?"

"Well tonight is going to be big, and I just want to know you love me."

"Jesse," I say slowly again to make sure I don't accidentally call him Paul, because he sounds nothing like Jesse. "I don't know if I love you anymore."

"What?" JW asks me in a hoarse whisper. "What?" He repeats.

"Well, I did love you. I loved you so much, but something has shifted in me, and I just don't know anymore." It was midnight; I felt my phone vibrating its alarm in my pocket. Something should happen soon.

"WHAT?" JW asks while standing up, anger residing in his eyes. I know I should be afraid, but I'm just too used to Paul's anger that I don't even flinch. I know he's powerful, but nothing is more powerful than love. And I love Jesse.

"You heard me!" I say while he stomps up towards the alter. I hear a rustle behind me and immediately feel the burning sensation return. Seirios has my hands tied behind my back in now time and a hand over my mouth.

I try to mumble something, but nothing gets out. My wrists begin to feel charred and I gasp at the unexpected pain. "That's right," Seirios whispers in my ear and I shiver at his breath on the tip of my ear. "Give into the pain, Susannah."

My eyes begin to water at the sudden intensifying of pain and I bite back a scream when I feel my back begin to burn. I turn my gaze to JW whose walking back towards me, an evil grin twisted onto his face. More tears sprout into my eyes, not because of the pain, but because of what he's making Jesse's face look like. He's marring Jesse's kind, sweet, and innocent face.

"You know Susie, you could stop all this pain any time you wanted." I shake my head fiercely, but I'm quaking inside. _What if Paul didn't mess up? What if I'm stuck with him as my Jesse and yet always yearning for my real Jesse? Why would he do this to me if he supposedly loved me so much? What if he kills Jesse in Paul's body and I never see _my_ Jesse again?_ More tears pop into my eyelids and some of them stream down my face. I close my eyes.

"Just say the words, Suze. Say them. Tell me you love me, and only me. Just say them." I shake my head again, my eyes still closed.

"Well you know what? You better say them, or _Rico_ here gets to find himself into another grave." I wrench my eyes open and look at Jesse Wannabe, but it's not Jesse any more. Paul's back to his normal self and he's concentrating on someone else. I turn my head and scream.

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AN: CLIFFY! I'm evil I know! hehe


	26. Chapter 25

**AN**: This chapter was really hard for me to write, since I'm fearing it will be one of my last, if not my last one. I don't want it to end; I love it too much!

But alas, my fingers are pounding the keyboard and the words are flowing through me, and it exhilarates me to know that I have readers like you, who will and have appreciated my story. You guys really have no idea how much it means to me that my work (and maybe talent) is being read and liked!

Thanks for reading, again, and hope you will keep on reading my stuff! I already have another Mediator ff in mind. Hmmm.

Disclaimer: All of the familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot, but I own all the new ones and the plot.

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Chapter 25

I can feel the hate, loathing, and anger radiating off of Paul's body and concentrating on Jesse. _My_ Jesse, back in his body. For a moment, I can only stare at Jesse, who is dangling ten feet above the ground. His arms are twisted behind his back, and his legs are quickly being bent to meet them. I can feel Jesse's pain; the look in his eyes terrifies me and makes me loose almost all of my hope. I gasp and try to wriggle free of Seirios' death grip to get to Jesse. All of my thoughts are on him. My legs are quaking and I feel as if I'm going to collapse at any moment.

Suddenly something clicks inside me and I begin to feel the anger boil up from my core up to my skin, finally landing into my eyes. Paul is looking from me to Jesse with his arm still raised pointing at Jesse. I close my eyes in a slow blink.

Then I focus all of my anger to Paul, slowly wanting to kill him with my eyes. Only a second later, there's a sickly crack and Paul collapses to the floor, cradling his arm with tears streaming down his eyes and cuss words foaming out of his mouth. I transfer all of the energy I have left to Jesse. I catch him right before he hits the floor and sigh. I'm not using anything to concentrate on Jesse except my eyes, because Seirios still has my arms.

Once Jesse is safely back on the floor to the Mission, I glance over at Paul who is whimpering but trying to get up and fight me. Startled by my own power, I'm momentarily mentally immobile. But once Paul is on his feet I feel the anger and power return and in full throttle. I hate him so much.

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My next victim is Seirios, who has had his fun with me and will now find _his_ punishment. I literally blow him away with my newly found mind powers, and he collides into the wall of the church with a deafening crash. With my hands free I can now feel the power flowing more freely.

I look over at Jesse to make sure he is okay, and he's getting up slowly as if he's hurt. _But at least he's alive_, I tell myself and then turn my attention to the still whimpering Paul.

"You!" I yell. "Paul you—"

Paul interrupts me, "Suze, don't say anything you might regret. Let me say my piece and I know that you'll change your mind about this once you've heard me."

I snort and look back over at Jesse just to make sure he's still okay. When I don't say no to Paul, he plows right through.

"Suze…you and I are both shifters, yes?" I don't nod my head even though he is looking at me questioningly. "Okay," he recovers, and I can tell he's a little flustered, but then he clears his throat and goes on. "We're shifters. You and me, and there's this connection between us. We are so similar, you and me…us. But there's also something else we have in common then just personality traits: we need, we want, and we get it. You just haven't figured out exactly what you need, because what you think you need is really only just what you want. Deep down, Suze, I know you want me. I knew it from the first moment we met. You have always been special to me.

"I don't think I can ever forget how you kissed me so sweetly on the lips…" In the background I can hear Jesse shuffling over to us; his footsteps are full of fury. "Suze. What I'm trying to get at is that, well you and I were meant for each other."

I snort out loud when Paul says this and shake my head. Paul ignores it, but I can see the fear in his eyes, something I've never seen before.

"Think about it Suze. Use the brains I know you have! Two shifters alone in the world. Two shifters in need. Meant for each other. Do you know how lucky we are that we've found each other? Balance! It's what the whole universe is about, right?" Paul is beginning to look desperate to win me over. He's even started using his hands.

"Oh Suze, you have to understand why I've done this. I knew that you wouldn't have given me a chance in my body. You constantly tell me that you will never be able to love me. And well this way I thought I could give you a push in the other direction. I knew, well thought, that if I was in Jesse's body that you would love me." Paul shudders to a stop and it looks like he's out of words to say.

I think about it despite myself. In a whole different life and cosmos I would have considered this a little bit sweet. But in this life, right now, I don't even have to blink once to know what my choice is, and has always been. _Jesse_.

He's the only one who completes me. Makes me happy, full of life, ecstatic, if you will. My heartbeat starts pounding faster every time his brown eyes shift to me. I'm completely and utterly in love, and nothing can change the fact that Jesse will always have my heart.

"Paul," I say and Paul's whole body shifts. "I will say this once, and only once. Jesse is the only man I will ever love." Paul's shoulders fall and suddenly his eyes are dark and saddening.

I watch him for a moment, while his world falls apart around him helpless. Then he straightens up and looks me in the eyes…

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My whole body shivers as Paul's eyes land on mine and turn from the steely blue to a sick black. "Suze, I'm going to ask you this one more time. And I want you to think about this. Jesse isn't a shifter. He's not even a mediator. Jesse is nothing out of the ordinary. He's just a guy. Me on the other hand am everything and I mold perfectly to you. Tell me you love me."

Mentally I'm screaming, but I decide that the best way to rationalize is to remain calm and composed. "Paul, it doesn't matter what Jesse isn't. It matters what he is and what he's going to become. Jesse is kind and self-sacrificing. Sure he may not be a shifter or a mediator, but those things don't matter to me. What matters to me is that he loves me and only me, and I the same." As I finish, Jesse comes to my side and grasps my hand. Only after he steadies it, do I realize that I had been shaking.

Paul frowns at us, and his brow furrows. Then I watch as his eyes darken again and suddenly he calls out. "Seirios!" I flinch at the name and wait for him to come up and try to molest me. I cling onto Jesse's hand tightly and look over at him. His eyes make a flood of emotions flow through me and make me feel warm again. I feel as if I've fallen in love all over again with just a look at his eyes. "Seirios!" Paul yells again and I snap my attention back to him and the anger rolling off of his body. Underneath it all, I can tell he's scared.

When nothing happens and Seirios is a no-show, Jesse steps forward limping a little and speaks to Paul. "Looks like you're all alone now, Paul," he says softly.

"NO!" he yells and launches himself onto Jesse. I scream while Jesse's hand is yanked from mine, and the pair of them go flying over the pew behind us. It breaks and I yell to Jesse, trying to run around to get them off of each other.

They're rolling around on the ground—Jesse throwing as many punches as he can manage, while Paul blocks it with his uninjured arm, whimpering all the while. I smile in spite of the situation. Paul will never change—he will always be the coward I know him for.

I snap back to the situation at hand and cringe as I see Jesse get a bloody nose from Paul's elbow. After receiving the blow, which Jesse doesn't even pay attention to; Jesse rolls Paul over and then gets off of him while brushing his hands off.

"Enough," he says in a final tone of voice and shoots a glare over at Paul who seems to understand that it's over with.

Jesse limps over to me and I place his arm over my shoulder and whisper "thanks" in his ear. He smiles back at me and then kisses my neck softly as his welcoming statement. We walk only three steps away, when I remember something my dad said right before he "departed" and run out from under Jesse's arm. I go back to Paul, who's still lying on the floor and give him my hand to help him up.

"Let's get you home," I say to him with a small smile.

Paul looks up at me, and then glances over to Jesse, and then to my hand. His blue eyes land on mine, and I can tell that he is finally starting to understand. "I guess we _are_ different," he says while taking my hand with his uninjured arm.

"Yes, yes we are."

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AN: I know I know, you wanted Suze and Jesse to beat the shit out of Paul and then leave him to rot (hell I wouldn't mind it!)…but you know they're better than that!

I'm thinking one more chapter left! It's just so sad…


	27. Chapter 26

AN: I'm sick today, and I have a major sinus problem which means if I lie down my whole body will drown in all the snot it is making. I hate it so much. So I stayed home today and decided to pound my poor keyboard some more to get another chapter out for you guys, since I love you so much. I'm thinking only one more. I've decided to draw it out some more and leave you with this for now.

I'll probably write the next one, since I'm on a roll (and can't breath through my nose—although I have no idea how that affects my writing…) I hate being sick and—call me crazy, 'cause I know you will—out of school.

Disclaimer: All of the familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot, but I own all the new ones and the plot.

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Chapter 26

Once we get Paul home, Jesse drives me home. He turns onto my street and parks a block away from my house.

"I'll walk you," is all he says to me while we get out of his car. I nod my head and he comes around to open my door for me.

We walk in silence to my house and then up to my tree right by my bedroom window. I turn and look at my Jesse. _God, how I've missed those dark, brown, loving eyes._ I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and begin to climb up the tree. I'm just about to get to the first branch, when big hands grab my ankles and pull me down. Fear flashes through me, but suddenly I'm in Jesse's arms.

There's a playful look in his eyes, as if he enjoyed freaking me out just then. We lock gazes, and then his lips come down on mine slowly. Our kiss is nothing too ostentatious, but it means the world to me, because it's filled with kindness, passion, and ever-lasting love.

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Once up in my room I feel a little lightheaded and crash onto my bed with a big fat grin on my face. Jesse knows how to make me feel as if I'm on a cloud and nothing but his tender hands can touch me.

I'm staring up at my ceiling, thinking about tonight, Paul's weird train of thought, Jesse's lips on mine, my heart beating faster and faster as if at any moment it might explode. It's this last thought that allows me to slip into a deep sleep and awake well rested and happy.

I get up before my alarm and take a shower, singing all the while. I don't know what it is, but I feel so good and…complete. I'm right in the middle of singing my third song—_Sunday Morning_, by Maroon 5—when Dopey knocks on my bathroom door yelling about wanting some peace and quiet. I shut up, not wanting him to ruin my perfect mood.

My morning is amazing…the first thing I put on looks stunning on me and I twirl happily around my room while doing the rest of my morning rituals. Finally I'm done and I bounce downstairs, my backpack slung over my shoulder. I glance out of the window and see Jesse's car in the driveway. Another gargantuan smile pops up onto my face, and Dopey comes out of the kitchen.

"What the hell are you so happy about?" He asks angrily. I just smile at him and pat him on the head.

"Life…love…it's _all_ just so amazing!" I twirl around him stupidly and he looks at me as if I'm a crazy person.

"Suuuze? Are you on drugs?" Dopey asks me sounding a little sketched out.

"Nope," I say in sign-song and then enter the kitchen to find Jesse sitting on the barstool, Doc right next to him, and Andy cooking pancakes. I stare at the three of them for a minute. Jesse is listening to Doc explain some stuff to him about atoms and molecules. Jesse's listening intently and nodding. He's truly interested. Andy is looking at the pair of them over the stove with a smile.

I take in the moment and then Jesse's eyes slide from Doc to me and my whole body gets hot. My heart beats faster, I get chills and I am suddenly yearning for one of his mouth melting kisses. I smile tentatively at the three of them and walk into the kitchen.

"Good morning, kiddo," Andy says to me while giving me a plate filled with pancakes.

"Hey," Doc says while shoving a mouthful of pancake into his mouth as if to keep from saying any more.

I walk over to the other barstool on the other side of Jesse and sit down. He leans over, his eyes locked on mine, and says, "Good morning, _Querida_." His lips linger on my cheek a little longer than expected and the thought of what's to come makes me shiver a most wonderful shiver.

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Jesse and I leave twenty minutes early and head to the Mission for him to drop me off at school. When we get there we both get out and Jesse takes my hand. He leads me to the graveyard behind the school and sits me down on the bench. I smile up at him and he down at me.

"Hello," Father Dom says while appearing behind Jesse.

I jump a little bit, but give him a kind smile and say, "Good morning."

"Susannah, I-I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for me. It-It's just overwhelming to think about what could have happened." Father breaks off, and Jesse puts a hand on his shoulder to steady him while Father takes out his hanky. I smile sadly up at him.

"Father Dom, God would have never let your soul go to hell. I'm always here to protect you," I say. "After all, it is my job after all."

Father's eyes light up and he smiles down at me. "Oh Susannah, I'm leaving. My body has lost its connection. I am finally going _home_."

"Oh Father Dom!" I weep while throwing my arms around him.

"Don't cry for me Susannah," Father Dom says and he chuckles a little at the irony of the statement. Then I hear his chuckling begin to fade and tears stream down my face. He's leaving. Father Dom is leaving me.

"Good bye," he says to me and adds to Jesse, "Make sure she doesn't get in too much trouble."

"Father!" I whine as I see him fading just like my father did at the winter dance. Father Dom leans over and places a kiss on my forehead. More tears come and then he's not there any more and I collapse into Jesse's arms. _I have no one left except Jesse. Only Jesse knows the whole me, the real me._

Jesse knows what I'm going through and holds me while I sob quietly in his arms. He kisses the crown of my head and murmurs sweet Spanish things into my ear, which I really wish I understood. He just holds me like this for a couple minutes and then the school bell is ringing and Jesse is telling me I have to go. I cling to him; I don't want to go.

"Susannah, you must go. We cannot let the sadness of this day get the best of you." I sigh, knowing that Jesse is right. I tear myself away from Jesse and wipe my eyes and cheeks off. Jesse helps me by pulling out a hanky from his pocket.

_Some things never change_, I tell myself while smiling up at Jesse. After cleaning me up he leans down and captures my lips in a mind-blowing kiss.

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I waltz through my classes, riding high on a cloud, yet my soul is hurting with the sadness of the departure of Father Dominic. One minute I'll be thinking about my future with Jesse, and then the next I'm feverishly wiping my eyes.

I finally get to French and see that Paul isn't here today. I shrug and play around with the idea of calling him to make sure he's okay. But I am lost in my thoughts of Jesse in no time and am only snapped out of them when the phone rings in class.

My teacher answers in a thick French accent. She nods her head and says some stuff in an undertone. Then hangs up the phone and says, "Suze, will you go please see the headmistress?"

I nod my head and quickly make my way out of the classroom and to the main office. Once inside, Sister offers a seat to me and I take it.

"Suze, I don't know if you've heard, but Mr. Slater, won't be returning to school." Too shocked to say much of anything, I just sit there staring at her. "I know this is a big and unexpected shock, but his parents have recalled him to Seattle. They feel that it is time he's home."

I nod my head vehemently and wait for her to go on.

"I was just on the phone with Mr. Slater, and he told me to give you this." Sister hands me an envelope with my name scrawled across it in Paul's writing. I take it from her outstretched hands with my trembling ones.

"You may leave now, Ms. Simon," Sister says once I have the envelope and I flee with the letter burning the palm of my hand.

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AN: Hope you enjoyed it! Last chapter is up next.


	28. THE END!

**Disclaimer: All of the familiar characters are property of Meg Cabot, but I own all the new ones and the plot.**

Chapter 27

I'm in the graveyard now, where I figure I can be alone for a while and not caught. I have sat down on the ground behind the wall and opened Paul's letter with trembling hands.

It reads:

_Susie (I couldn't resist),_

_I won't keep you out of class long, since I know Sister has given this to you and you are probably skipping even longer to read it, since your curiosity is killing you._

_About what you said last night in response to my ranting: I know now that we are two completely different people. I know there is no excuse for what I have put you through since we have met, so I won't offer you any bullshit._

_It is my choice to move back to Seattle, and I won't have you thinking that it's your fault—I know you do—but it's not. It's my choice, and my choice alone. I won't let you skip any longer, but I do wish you the happiest life, which I know that I can never be a part of._

_Paul Slater_

P.S. Father Dom and I talked before he moved on to the next realm; I thought you should know that I apologized and he forgave me. I know you won't believe this, but I was his tie to this world. He needed to make sure that I understood the meaning behind, "With great power, comes great responsibility." And now I do.

Paul sounds really sorry for all the sick and twisted things he's done to me over the couple of years I've known him. If I weren't so wrapped up in Jesse, I would totally forgive Paul right now and go over and make out with him. But just thinking about that makes me feel guilty…

And he's right; I can't believe that Paul was Father Dom's tie to this world…

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Finally the day is done with and I walk out to the parking lot to find Brad and Kelly making out. Finally, Dopey got his dream girl with Paul gone—I guess word got out.

I'm almost to the car, which David is sitting in looking completely disgusted, when I hear Debbie scream, "YOU LITTLE BITCH!"

Brad and Kelly unlock lips at the sound of the banshee from hell's screaming.

"What did you call me, you ho?" Kelly asks while she flips her hair and walks towards Debbie.

"You stole my boyfriend!"

"Brad was only using you to get to me!" Kelly yells back. Debbie is seething, but then when hearing this her face falls. "Oh!" Kelly lets out loudly, so the rest of the crowd that has congregated around the parking lot can hear. "You actually thought that someone liked you over me? That's so sweet."

There's a collective laugh and one guys yells, "BURN!" But then before anyone can register it, Debbie launches herself onto Kelly. They both collide with the pavement, and Debbie begins slapping the hell out of Kelly while Kelly manages to get a hold of Debbie's hair and pulls hard.

The crowd begins to chant, "Girl fight! Girl fight! Girl fight!"

I look back over at Brad. "Aren't you going to so anything?" I ask him over the chanting.

He just stares at me and then looks at them. Brad's eyes widen as he looks back at me. "Hell no! Suze, two chicks are fighting over me! This is like once in a life time thing!"

I shake my head while grabbing the keys out of his hand. "For you Brad, it is," I say and then hop into the drivers seat and turn on the car.

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Once David and I get home I walk into the kitchen totally starving. I open the fridge and get out an already made sandwich, then close it and fine Mom sitting at the counter, typing away on her laptop.

"Hey Mom," I say while taking a bite out of the deli.

She looks up and smiles. "Susie!"

"I haven't seen you in a while," I comment and then pour myself a glass of water.

"I know, but all my hard work has paid off, and well today I got a big announcement. I am officially the co-owner of the station!" Mom hops off of the stool with glee and comes over and hugs me. I'm so happy that I actually bounce up and down with her in excitement, like we're two middle schoolers who have just gotten their first kisses.

Andy comes in and I throw him a "help me" look over Mom's shoulder and he nods with a laugh.

"Honey? What's this all about?"

Mom thankfully turns her attention to Andy and then bounds over to him and locks her lips onto his. I bow out gracefully before I can puke, but I have to admit it's cute how happy she is.

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I walk up into my room and finish eating my sandwich in silence. Then quietly I walk back downstairs and into the kitchen to throw away my garbage.

I find Andy sitting on one of the stools with the phone in his hand and the phonebook out.

"Hey," I say and glance around the room for Mom. "What's going on?"

"Well your mother is upstairs freshening up and I just made a reservation for dinner." I guess he sees my facial expression, because he adds quickly. "For two," and I breathe a sigh of relief. "I'm letting you off. You are now ungrounded and I want you to go out and spend the night with CeeCee. David's already made arrangements to spend the night with one of his friends, and I'm sure Brad can 'crash' somewhere."

"Uh, okay," I say to him and then totally raise my eyebrows as I catch onto what's going to happen tonight. "Ewwww," I say aloud and Andy laughs.

"I was trying to spare you…and get your mind out of the gutter, Suze! Goodness gracious, kids these days."

"Oh please, like you didn't think like that when you were my age," I say in self-defense.

Andy's eyes sparkle, "Okay, so I did, but still, get your mind outta the gutter!"

"Okay! Okay!" I make my way to leave and Andy calls me back.

"Suze, where's Brad?"

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I leave the kitchen with a giggle at the fact that Andy was impressed that Brad got two girls to fight over him. God, men!

I go up into my room and prepare to call CeeCee, when the phone rings. I pick it up and say, "Hello?"

"Hey Querida," Jesse says in his silky voice.

"Hi," I squeak.

"What are you doing tonight?" Jesse asks me while I sit down on my bed and fiddle with taking off my sneakers.

"I'm probably spending the night at Cee's, because Andy and Mom need the house to themselves." Jesse just chuckles.

"Do you want to come over here?"

I stop breathing and clutch the phone tighter to my ear. "You mean, spend the night with you?" I ask.

"No." Jesse says and my heart rate falls. "Querida, you know we can't do that."

"I know," I whisper softly into the phone and then crash back onto my bed.

"I meant like just to hang out and then I would, of course, drive you to CeeCee's house."

"Sure," I say and then sigh.

"Susannah? Are you okay? I know you are disappointed in the fact that I won't allow you to sleep over—"

I interrupt him—he always thinking everything's about him, doesn't he?—"Jesse, Paul's moving back up to Seattle."

"Oh," is all Jesse says and I can tell he's a little relieved.

"Jesse, I don't know why, but I'm sad. And he wrote me this letter and everything and well I feel as if I'm losing someone close to me. What will I do without my Shifter Lessons?" OH SHIT! I just told him about the Shifter Lessons. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

As if reading my mind, Jesse says, "Don't worry about it, I knew about them."

"Oh. How?"

"Susannah, does it really matter?" He asks with a sigh, and I can tell he doesn't want to tell me. And for once I drop it.

"No," I say and then we arrange for him to pick me up in an hour. In the meantime I call Ceece and make sure I can stay over at her house. She says sure.

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While I pack up for the night, I'm thinking about Paul and how Dr. Jacobs is the only other shifter I know. Maybe I should call him and see if he wants to talk for a while about, well, shifting, because I'm not sure he knows all the stuff that Paul knows on the subject.

I fish out his card from my many pairs of jeans scattered on the floor and dial the number. He doesn't pick up. Probably dissecting some body, I think and wait for the voicemail to beep.

Finally, it does, and I say, "Hey, Dr. Jacobs, this is Suze Simon. Um, I was wondering if you possibly wanted to get together and grab from lunch sometime and talk about our similarities." I laugh at myself for being so careful. "Only if you want to," I add for good measure and then give him my number.

I hang up the phone and then resume packing. There's a knock on my door and Doc comes in to ask if he can get a ride over to his friends. I tell him sure, and then he says that Jesse's here. I light up immediately at just the sound of his name and then I bound down the stairs with David in my wake.

Opening the car door, I throw my stuff in the back and kiss Jesse full on the lips. Thankfully David takes his time getting into the car and making sure not to look at us.

"Can we drive David to his friend's?" I ask Jesse while buckling up.

"Of course. Where does he live?"

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Once, we drop David off, Jesse and I speed away to his house, where, even before he can shut the engine off, I kiss him.

I hear him gasp into my mouth in surprise and then easily wrap his arms around me, allowing his fingers to touch every inch of my back. I'm practically sitting on the shifter, and let me tell you it's not that comfortable.

I pull away, "Jesse."

"Susannah," he whispers in my ear and then kisses me some more, and I'm lost in it. But then I gain some consciousness back and tell Jesse that we have to go inside and finish this. He's only too happy to oblige. He runs around picks up my bag and then opens the door for me. I get out, making sure my skirt (I wore my shortest skirt…and okay, it just so happens to be plaid, coupled with knee socks and a white tank top that has a neckline that plunges way down) rides up a little bit.

I sway my hips while walking in front of him up the stairs to his house. I can feel his eyes on me the entire time. I turn around and place my back on the door. He fumbles with the keys while looking into my eyes.

"Oh Jesse," I whisper into his ear and then kiss the lobe. He shudders, but manages to open the door and walk through it. I walk in behind him and take my bag from his fingers. Placing it on the floor near the door I think what's the point in bring it in, when he's just going to drive me over to CeeCee's later in his car. But then I feel the heat of his gaze on me and turn around to see him staring at me.

"Susannah, you need to change," he says huskily.

"Into what?" I ask dumbfounded.

"Into anything besides that," he says while removing his eyes from my chest and looking down at his feet with a blush across his cheeks.

"Okay," I say and pick up my bag again and walk past him. But I don't get far, because Jesse grabs my arm and swings me back towards him, our lips locking together. It takes my breath away.

His arms wrap around my waist while my hands drop my bag and drag themselves through his hair. Jesse's lips feel so good on mine that my knees are practically buckling. Then he flings himself off of me, and points to the bathroom door.

"Now," is all he says while breathing heavily and I pick up the bag, go in, and change.

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Jesse and I hang out after I change into some jeans. After hanging out, watching a movie, and ordering Indian food, Jesse says that it's time I went over to CeeCee's and he fetches my bag and we walk out into his car.

In CeeCee's driveway, Jesse kisses me lightly on the lips. I want more and can tell that he does too. "Susannah," he starts. "I know you don't want to wait, but please, will you wait for me? Can we wait?"

I smile up at him, never thinking he would ask something of me. "Of course I will Jesse," I say and then kiss him on the cheek. "I can wait until we're engaged."

"Married, you mean." Jesse says.

"Engage, married, same difference," I say with flick of my hand as if to say "whatever".

Jesse just chuckles at me and says good night.

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CeeCee's mom drives me home the next day and I find a package on our doorstep. It's labeled to me from an anonymous sender. I run into the house and up the stairs. The second my door is shut I rip it open and stare at the contents inside. It's copies of all of Paul's shifter stuff. Copies of everything. I rifle through it, pausing every now and then to look over some stuff, trying to find a note. But there is none and I can just hear Paul's voice in my head saying, "It's self-explanatory," and I grin like an idiot.

The End

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AN: Please tell me if it wrapped up any lingering questions for you. This is my last chapter (if you coulnd't tell with the whole "The End" at the end) and I want it to be great—so any feedback is of course greatly appreciated. Don't hesitate to ask questions.

It's been a blast!

Sarah


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